What You're Worth // Billie Eilish

Part XVI

Gillian listened to the repetitive, steady thump of Billie's heart. It echoed through the barriers of her chest she laid on. For a moment, she was reminded of what safety felt like.

In this transitional period of her life, it was hard to find sunshine in rainy weather. Billie made it easy. She was the calm after the storm.

On Kella's couch, arm slung around Gillian's neck, Billie pressed a kiss to her temple. Eli had fallen asleep leaned against her shoulder, and by the looks of Gilly's drowsy eyes, she was next.

Billie could see that the stress had taken a bit of a toll on her. Malik had been constantly calling and texting her, both demanding answers and apologizing profusely. She needed to move out, but she knew he would make it an issue. She would need to end her lease early, look for another apartment, and possibly enroll Eli into a new school.

The journey would be taxing but it was necessary. Kella suggested that independence was vital to her moving on and receiving closure.

It was a process.

In spite of her separation from him, it was hard to grasp onto the fact that she would never be truly liberated from him. He would want to be in Elias' life and Gillian couldn't see herself preventing him from doing so.

Billie knew, long before Gillian did, a piece of Malik would always be with her. It was something she figured she had to accept, but she grew more uneasy with the thought of it as time progressed, especially after seeing the affect he had on her— the slight frown on her face, the bags under her eyes, the hoarseness of her voice from yelling and arguing over the phone and in person.

Since the beginning, without even properly knowing her, she had an innate, inexplicable urge to protect Gillian. To look after her, to make her feel comfortable. Billie questioned what kind of protector would she be if she allowed him to treat her this way.

However, boundaries existed and she understood it wasn't her place to do everything she wanted. She was working on thinking before she acted.

"G, didn't you say you were gonna get your stuff an hour ago?" Kella reminded, walking past the three cuddled on the couch and towards the kitchen.

Gillian groaned and snuggled deeper into Billie. "Maybe I only really need one outfit."

Billie gave her another kiss, "No more procrastinating, baby. Go and come back real quick. In and out."

"But Elias-"

"He's sleep, he's fine. I'll watch him if you're okay with that?"

Gillian sat up straight to get a better look at Eli. He was an angelic sleep, always seeming to be in a peaceful state. She looked at Billie next and it only took her seconds to realize she trusted her with both her own life and her son's.

"Okay, okay. I'll be back in thirty. Call me when he wakes up."

Billie smiled and nodded.

Gillian left reluctantly and drove to the apartment she and Malik previously shared. They hadn't physically seen each other in days, but the contempt was still there.

"Five minutes." She mumbled to herself. "Get your shit and leave."

She had never wanted to be they type of woman that struggled to even be in the same room as her baby father, but here she was, giving herself a pep talk to walk into the apartment that had her name on the lease.

As she parked, she passed by a familiar old Honda. She thought very little of it until she tried to unlock the front door and the chain was hooked on.

She banged on the door to get his attention. "Malik! The chain!"