Haikyu!!! x Male Reader Oneshots

Kuroken- Too Fat Or Too Skinny

Warnings: Kuroken, Mental Angst, Size Insecurity, Eating Disorder, Death Mentioned

(M/N)'s POV: 

I loved Kuroo. 

He loved Kenma. 

Kenma loved him. 

But who loved me?

No one. 

At least not that way. 

The irony of it is.. I got them together. 

You're probably thinking... why?

Because that's how I am. Like Kenma, I've known him my whole life. We all have actually. The thing is Kenma knew how much I liked Kuroo, for years. Of course I didn't have the balls to ask him out, so that was smart of me. I was convinced that their parents forced them to talk to me.

It wasn't really his fault though, I mean it was when Kenma and I turned 16 and Kuroo turned 17, and he kissed Kuroo's cheek. 

It's probably because I'm not as skinny as him or as pretty as him. I'd always think that. But I never realized that it would be true. 

______________________

"Hey (L/N)! Can you help me ask out Kuroo?" Kenma walked up to me, whispering. 

"Uhmm sure. I can just text him and tell him or something?" I asked, as I feel him look me up and down.

"Yeah tell him that I like him. I think he likes me." Kenma smiled.

"Yeah... No worries"

I texted him and he said yes. Kenma watched over my shoulder as he said that he would go on a date and thank you.

"Thanks (L/N)." Kenma disappears before I can even speak. 

"...No problem." 

Things changed after that. That day if I had just said something else, maybe, just maybe I wouldn't be their little activity to play with when they were bored. 

_________________

"God why are you like this?" I sobbed into the mirror, using a sharpie on my body, drawing lines that would make me look skinny if I could cut the skin off with scissors. 

"Nobody wants an overweight guy. You need to stop eating." 

So I did. I limited my food to a meal a day. My stomach shrank and suddenly one meal made me full. 

My bones peeked out from behind the skin, almost like a skeleton.

Of course no one noticed. Why would they? 

Nobody cares. 

Not even Kuroo. My very first friend. 

They would talk. Everyone would talk. Talk about me, about my body, but no one would approach me or even try to care that I would kill myself if I didn't eat. 

To be honest, they wouldn't care. They'd only care if I died or stopped existing completely. 

If I just disappeared what would they say? Nothing. 

Nothing. 

Nothing, like the fat on my body.

Nothing, like the care they have for me.

Nothing, like the love I have for myself. 

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Even the world was nothing. 

No one wants someone too skinny. 

Why couldn't I just look like Kenma. 

Kuroo loves Kenma. 

It all changed when I passed out. 

I stood up to leave, unnoticed or ignored, like every other day. 

My knees grew weak and I collapsed. 

Lights out. 

My head smacked a desk, as the whole class turned horrified as blood poured from my head. 

Even Kuroo and Kenma stopped, scarred by the sight.

Their friend who got them together, and then they ditched him, just passed out.

"SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULENCE!!" A girl's voice shouted. 

I didn't know that girl, but if she hadn't said that and Kenma hadn't called the police I would be dead.

Fuck. Why? 

This world is better without me, but no, of course. 

The one time they care, they save me. 

None of this wouldn't have been an issue if I just wasn't here. 

If you don't fit the perfect agenda, you are nothing. 

Nothing, like the fat on my body. 

Nothing is such a deep word.

Nothing. 

I love that word. 

It means so much to me. 

It describes me. 

Nothing. 

I am nothing. 

At least in everyone's eyes. 

Apparently, my wound got infected. 

Agony. 

Agony was also part of my life. 

Agony was watching people eat and be disgusted. 

Food was agony.

Kuroo was agony.

Kenma was agony.

Agony was the last thing I felt when I died.

"(M/N). I'm sorry." 

Kuroo? 

That was the last thing I heard when I died. 

Why?

Why would you do this?

Forget it. 

Reset it. 

You're gone now. 

______________________________________

Thank you all so much for reading this. Sorry if it's confusing. It's kind of like a poem, kind of. Anyway, have a great day/night and stay safe and healthy. I love you all <3

                   -Luna