Life Under The Rainbow

Chapter Nine

“We never realize how frozen we are until someone starts to melt our ice”

I was driving extremely slowly, delaying getting home and have to wait for Mthonga to come. I probably spent twenty minutes in the car, parked in front of my gate, trying to stop myself from panicking. As I was resting my head on the steering wheel, exercising breathing techniques, a loud car hoot startled me. I looked through the rear-view mirror and it was that red car that I loved so much. I started my car and opened the gate before driving up. He was following suit behind me and he parked his right next to mine. We opened our car doors at the same time and they almost slammed against each other. How awkward. 

“Sorry.” I said lowly. I let him climb out first and he closed his. He came up to my door and opened it. He leaned against my door, blocking my exit, his whole presence hovering over me. 
“You have a lovely house.” He was looking around, nodding his head slowly. 
“Thank you.” He looked down at me again, after admiring my mansion. 
“Are you planning on coming out the car or are we going to stare at each other the whole night?” he’s very sassy and I somehow seem to like it.
“Maybe if you would get out of my way, we would be doing far better things than stare each other.” He smirked and only then did I realize what I had just blurted out. I could feel my cheeks heating up. 
“Okay Mr Mfusi.” He slid out of my way and I stood up. 

He closed the door behind me while I went to take my groceries. He helped me with the other bag and we walked up the driveway in complete silence. I opened the door leading to the living room and we walked in. 

“Please make yourself comfortable.” I took the bags from him, and he made his way to the living room. I rushed to the kitchen, unpacked the grocery and made us something to drink. When I went back to the lounge, he was more than comfortable. He had his legs up, the sofa reclined, tv remote in his hand scrolling through the tv. 
“Thank you.” He took the drink and placed it on the coffee table. 
“What exactly do you want us to discuss?” I asked, taking a sip of my whiskey, trying to gain some liquid courage for this unknown conversation ahead.
“You make it sound like a courtroom. It’s not a court case Ntsakisi, this is your life.” he paused the game. “One thing I will be straight with you about is coming out the closet is not fun; it definitely is not easy. For me, as a spiritual person, it was ten times hard for my family and my ancestors to accept me as I am. It hurt so much, the process of having to have your family call you derogatory names because they lacked understanding. It pained like hell.” He didn’t have a pained expression on his face like his words state. He looks at peace. 
“The first step to dealing with all those things is to forgive yourself. Not because you are in the wrong, but because no one will look at this and feel sympathy for you and how it feels to go through all their criticism and judgement. There will be times that they will treat you like you aren’t human, and they will forget that they grew up with you, that they lived with you. You will feel like they hate you.” He sighed. “They won’t stop loving you. They may say they don’t, but your family will never hate you. And you don’t owe them, or anyone an explanation. Never feel the need to justify your feelings, no matter what.” 

He was making sense, lots of it. Although it made sense, it didn’t make it easier for me to want to come clean. I still need to consider a lot of things before I call them together and tell them. And if I do, I’d probably tell mom first, and we all know why. 

“Come here.” I moved to where he was sitting, and he patted the spot right next to him. 
“I don’t know you that well, but I will be here for you.” He said in a soft tone. I felt comfortable around him once again, and it felt like what happened back in the office earlier was a dream. 
“Thank you.” He turned to look at me and our eyes locked. He did that thing of staring at my soul and it felt weirdly good. 
“Thokoza Gogo.” He burped out. Goosebumps marked themselves on my skin when he placed his hand on mine. It was cold. 
“My body yearns for you.” It’s a weird thing after another. Earlier after he had his outburst, he kissed me. Now he’s telling me his body yearns for mine. What is this. 

He placed his big palm on my cheek, and he moved closer. We shared the same breath and mine started being unstable. 

“I won’t do it if you don’t want me.” He said. I swallowed hard.
“Kiss me Mthonga.” I whispered, my voice shaking, my heart beating out of my chest. 

He moved one more inch closer, grabbed my bottom lip between his teeth, sucked on it softly, and then let it go. He brushed both of them on mine gently and I felt my whole body heating up. I pulled him a little closer than he was and wrapped my arms around his neck. Our lips finally locked into a kiss, and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. I moaned and he groaned, tightening the grip around my neck. He gradually laid me on the sofa and climbed on top of me. Things were getting heated, fast. 

“Wait.” I stopped him, pushed him a little and finally got a full view of his face. His eyes looked like slits. 
“I’ve never done this before.” I said feeling embarrassed. 
“Done what?” he sat up. When he did, I saw his front poking out. I was also hard as a rock.
“I’m a virgin.” He rubbed his forehead, but it wasn’t out of frustration. I don’t even know how to describe this look on his face. 
“Have you ever been with a woman?” What kind of question is that!? 
“What!? No!” I retorted.
“I’m not trying to offend you. There’s nothing taboo about it. I’ve also been with a woman, several times.” He said so nonchalantly. 
“Is it wrong not to have been with a woman?” I asked, trying to understand his statement.
“No. it’s not. I’m glad you’ve never been with anyone.” He gave me a small smile. This is very uncomfortable. 
“Mthonga I may be a gay man, but I don’t know anything about it. And all of this, this is new to me.” He rubbed my arm gently.
“Stick with me, I’ll take you places.” He said and stole another kiss on my lips. 





I cooked for the both of us and we had a lovely dinner together. Friends; boyfriend and boyfriend; kissing partners; at this point, I don’t really know. If this does develop into a relationship, which I have dreams of it happening right in the back of my heart, it will be my first. My first everything. He was my first kiss too. 

“I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” He said when we were walking out.
“I might not come in. My brother is coming into town.” I just remembered Mvelwenhle’s request. 
“Oh, that means a chilled day without Mr Mean.” I shot him a death stare and he laughed.
“I’m going to get rid of this façade you are putting up. I want to get to know the Ntsakisi who smiles and laughs.” I myself have never met that Ntsakisi.
“Good luck with that.” I added sarcastically. He chuckled. 
“I don’t need luck.” He held my hand. 
“I’ll see you around Mr Mfusi.” 
“Goodbye Mr Manqele.” He smiled. 

We were outside and I didn’t want my neighbors to start nosing around, so as soon as I finished saying goodbye, he got in the car and drove off. Is it fair to say I already caught feelings?  



It was around 05:30 in the morning and there was a loud hooting at my gate. That could only be Mvelwenhle. My question is though, if he’s here now, what time did he leave Johannesburg? I rolled out of bed and put on my shoes. I went to the door and opened the gate for him. After parking the car he climbed out.

“Usalele? We need to get going.” I didn’t even get a proper greeting.
“I wasn’t expecting you this early.” I yawned and went back inside the house.
“I’m hungry.” He said walking past me to the kitchen. I went back to my bedroom and made my bed. 
“Are you a vegetarian, I don’t see any meat in your fridge.” He shouted from the kitchen.
“There’s leftovers in the oven.” I shouted back. I’m a bit skeptical about letting him in my kitchen all by himself. He’s going to make a mess and my helper is only coming in next week. 

I went to my bathroom and took a quick shower, when I was done, I got dressed and went to the kitchen. He was sitting on a barstool, indulging in the food.

“You cooked this?” he asked with a spoonful of food in his mouth.
“Obviously.” He shook his head. 
“I don’t believe you. Your girlfriend was here.” I tensed up and cleared my throat. 
“Where are my nieces?” I tried changing the subject.
“I dropped them off at Palm Kloof. When are we meeting this woman? I’ve never seen you with a woman.” He was prying. 
“I don’t have time for girls. I’m a busy man.” He chuckled. “Running a whole company by yourself is no Childs play.” 
“True. But at one stage, you will have to find that one woman who you are going to settle down with.” I’m so over this conversation.
“I’ll do that once Andile sets the example and stops whoring around; Melisizwe too.” He laughed. 
“Your brothers are something else.” Conversation ended. He ate another spoonful before standing up to dump his plate in the sink.
“Let’s go.” He said grabbing his keys.
“You will wash that when we come back.” He rolled his eyes.
“You sound like Christine.” I chuckled as we walked out. I better enjoy this moment because it is about to get very sour.