Chapter Twenty-Nine

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And here you are, living despite it all

My injury is not making my life any easier because this is my ceremony, I am solely in charge of doing everything myself. Im technically still on bedrest but Im feeling much better and mom said I can move around now. My arm hasnt healed properly though, sometimes its unbearably sore. Jordi is also here, mom welcomed her and told her she can stay here until the ceremony is over. I can see she is quite uneasy around her, she still believes that what she did is taboo and its unforgivable.

Dad decided that the rest of the family didnt need to come down, he told them about it, but he said they dont need to travel all the way here, especially because Bab Msizi would be coming from Cape Town and Bab Vusi from Amanzimtoti, because thats where he lives now. In other words, he wants to do something on his own for once, without the help of his brothers.

Christine and mom made the traditional beer and they have been running around preparing everything for today. Mvelo also came, he was here when they went to buy the goat, but I didnt see him, our paths didnt cross, I think he made sure of that. I dont know how long hes going to avoid me for, but I think hes being petty now.

Ntsakisi. Her soft voice called out to me and I looked up. You are so quiet, what are you thinking about? she rubbed my arm looking concerned.

I just hope today goes well, thats all. She laid her head on my shoulder.

It will. I dont know anything about Zulu culture, but the way you guys have been preparing for this day, I have no doubt it will go well, and hopefully, I can have peaceful nights again. She still needs therapy, that I believe. No ceremony is going to fix what she is going through psychologically.

After this, we will both attend therapy, okay? she nodded.

Have you thought about a name for the baby. I heard your mom mentioning something about naming it. She found it hard to speak about the child, she struggled to piece together the sentence. She cant even find the right words to use.

No, not yet. Ive never done this before. She exhaled.

Im guessing it has to be a Zulu name.

Yes, it does. She took out her phone from the pocket of her apron. Did I mention that shes in a doek and apron like a makoti? She looks stunning.

Simposinhle? I raised an eyebrow at the terrible pronunciation.

What? I asked confused.

It means beautiful gift, it says here its a unisex name. she looked at me in the eyes.

Siphesihle? I asked stifling a laughing.

Dont laugh Ntsakisi, Im trying to help here. I put my arm around her shoulder.

I love the name. they wouldve been a beautiful gift in our lives. And I hope they will continue to be a blessing, even though we cant share our lives together. She rested her head on my shoulder.

Well be okay. I believe her when she says that, I truly do.

Sorry to disturb you guys, but we are ready to start. Christine popped her head in with a little smile on her face.

Jordi lifted her head and stood up. She gave me her hand and helped me up. I thanked her and we walked out the bedroom, all the way outside to the pool house where we do ancestral rituals. Mom, dad, Mvelo and Chris were already waiting for us. Mom called Jordi to come sit next to her and Chris and I went to the incense. Dad started talking to the incense while Mvelo held the goat. This thing was strong, it was even choking Jordi, she couldnt stop coughing.

I also have my son, Ntsakisi Junior, named after Ntsakisi, my grandfather, father to Kennedy Mfusi. uMthiyane, Vundisa, uLinda. He is the father of the child and the mother, Jordi is also here. Mvelo moved up and Jordi came to kneel in front of me. Shame, she cant even understand what is being said.

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