how one piece men react to you saying my uterus is trying to kill me

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just a quick definition because I'm not sure how common of a term it is.

 zerbert definition: when you press your lips against someone's skin and blow making a funny noise. It is also referred to as blowing raspberry.

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Law:

(Y/n) was lying on Law's bed. She had not left his bed all day. He knew she was on her period and didn't mind letting her take it easy. He knew just how hard her period was on her.

He walked back into his room to check on her. He carried a sandwich a glass of water and a bottle of midiol. He was fine being her nurse for the time being.

(Y/n) was cuddled up to a pillow, a heating pad pressed to her stomach right over where her uterus was, " Law it's doing it again." She whined in a rather pathetic voice.

Law quirked a brow, " what." He asked in a soft understanding tone but it was clear his patience was running thin. He didn't have the best bedside manner.

"It's trying to kill me." (Y/n) whimpered.

Law tried hard not to groan. He loved Mel but she was being a drama queen. She was normally so tough he didn't get what about her period turned her into such a crybaby. He bit his tongue taking a deep breath, "You'll make it, I'm sure you're not dieing." he was trying not to sound annoyed and he was failing.

"I know I'll make it but it's really trying to kill me. But my uterus is still trying to commit a mutiny against the rest of my body." (y/n) sat up she had a cute little pout on her face.

Law bit his lip, She was being so pathetic. "Eat this take some Midol and drink this entire glass of water," Law said in a bit of a huff. "I have to get back to work, if you need anything call for me." law kissed her cheek. She was being a crybaby drama queen but she was his crybaby drama queen.

Zoro:

(y/n) was sat in Zoro's lap. She always got more cuddly on her period. Zoro didn't mind in the slightest. He liked it when he got to hold her. When she was in his arms he knew she was completely safe.

"My Uterus is trying to kill me." (y/n) whimpered, burying her face in Zoro's neck.

"That so?" Zoro asked amused. It was kind of cute how over-dramatic she could be.

"Yeah, it is." not that Zoro could see but (Y/n) was pouting.

"Well, I'll avenge you if it succeeds." Zoro gave her a gentle squeeze.

(y/n) couldn't help but smile, "Good." she giggled.

"Theirs that dumb laugh I love." zoro squeezed her tighter to his chest. He knew (y/n)'s period could be really hellish for her. He always did his best to get a smile or a laugh out of her when she was like this.

(y/n) let out a little snort, "My laugh is adorable." she gently hit his chest.

"Yeah, adorably dumb." Zoro bew a zerbert on (Y/n)'s neck.

(y/n) let out a full belly laugh, "Zoro!" she laughed out. Hitting his chest a little harder.

Shanks

Shanks looked at his adorable little (Y/n). She was sprawled out on his bed, her hair sopping wet dressed in little more than one of his shirts. She'd just gotten out of her second bath of the day, "so are you feeling particularly dirty or just feel like wasting water?" shanks asked playfully.

(y/n) shot him an annoyed glare, "My uterus is trying to kill me, and only boiling myself helps." she pouted.

Shanks bit his lip before laughing. "Boiling yourself?" he asked shaking his head.

"It's a fight against my uterus's mutiny against the rest of my body." (y/n) huffed.

Shanks adored (y/n). He absolutely loved his lovely little girlfriend but dam it she could be melodramatic about her period. He'd be annoyed by it if she wasn't so funny with how she expressed her pain. He knew dam well she was fully aware of how dramatic she was being. She acted like this because it helped her put up with the pain she was going through. "You're too cute sometimes you know that right?"

"You weren't born with the curse of having a uterus you don't get to call me cute." (Y/n) huffed.

"Well I could get your uterus to leave you alone for nine months." shanks joked. Crawling into bed with his adorable girl.

"Like I wouldn't be even more whinny if I was pregnant." she groaned cuddling up to her lover.

"Yeah, but your melodrama is cute I'd put up with it." shanks hummed.

"I already have two masses of useless flesh on my chest, I don't need a parasite in my stomach too." (y/n) snorted.

Shanks let out a hearty laugh, "Well I don't think your boobs are just useless masses of flesh, I like them." shanks teased

"Then you carry them around."

Shanks held her to his chest and ran his fingers through her wet hair, "no I think I like them where they are."

(y/n) just let out an amused chuckle. She was glad that Shanks didn't mind playing along with her melodramatic self. She felt slightly better being held to his chest. 

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