•Who Am I Without You?•
I sit at my window, longing for his touch.
His hands tangled in my hair, our breaths mixing together after our late night activities, our bodies intertwined.
Who am I without him?
Without my name falling from his lips?...
"Y/n." Julio's voice rung out from behind me, I'd been on a trip for a week, Julio offered to pick me up from the airport, I told him I could order an Uber.
"Julio?" I giggled as the gorgeous man lifted me up into a hug.
"Hi beautiful." He pressed a single kiss to my lips.
"What're you doing here?"
"I wanted to surprise you!" Julio spun me around wrapping his arms around me.
"I love this surprise." I giggled as we walked out of the airport together.
"And I love you."
Every 'I love you' and every nickname he'd call me. Every complement and every word that was uttered with so much love.
How'd I throw it all away? How could I let something so sacred slip through my fingers?
"If I was asked to speak about love..."
"I would tell them about us."
Julio whispered as he removed my shirt from my body.
"And every single word would be laced with love." He pressed a kiss to my neck, proceeding to trail them down my body.
"Every time I speak your name, it'd echo.." his hands began to slide up my leg, slowly, teasingly.
"It'd echo, and everyone would stop to listen, because it is the most beautiful name a single voice could utter." He whispered before disappearing between my legs and pleasing me.
Every single part of me ached, ached for his touch, his words, his kiss, his hold, his heart.
I want him, I need him.
I want to get so lost in his eyes that I lose track of time. Just like that September night.
"You have the most mystifying eyes." I giggled as I began to lose myself in Julio's golden orbs.
"They're nothing special." He shrugged, blinking.
He'd never seen his eyes as special, he'd always seen them as 'just brown.'
"Well, I think they're very special." I placed myself on Julio's lap and laid my forehead against his.
"I think you're special." He blushed.
"You're so sweet to me." I held Julio's face in both of my hands and continued to lose who i am in his eyes.
"You deserve it bub." His lips connected to mine, though we never broke eye contact, and though you never see anyone kissing with their eyes open, you could always find me getting infinitely lost in Julio's eyes, between every kiss, every whisper, every single moment we spent together, I saw us, and a future in his eyes.
I know I shouldn't be sitting here, sulking.
What else should I do?!?
Everything in Seattle reminds me of him.
His voice is heard in every wave of the ocean.
The sparkle his eyes held was spotted in everything the sun had reflected off of.
I searched for him in everything, and I always found him.
No ones breaking my heart but myself.
But who am I without him?
How can I be anyone without him?
"Who are you? Really?" Julio asked as the two us stood hand in hand peering over the water beneath the bridge.
"I don't know..." I trailed off, Julio loved to get deep, it's one of the many things I loved about him.
"I do." He spoke confidently making me giggle.
"Do you now?"
"I do."
"Then tell me Julio, who am I?..." I was curious to say the least, but I was also terrified.
"You're scared." He whispered.
"Of?"
"Me getting too close, loving you as all you are. You're scared of my love for you." I held my breath as Julio finished speaking.
"How do you know?"
"You keep your guard up around me love, but I've slowly taken it down." Julio pulled my hair behind my ears and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek.
"You know me more than I know myself sometimes." It was scary how much he knew and understood me, sometimes in ways I myself couldn't understand.
I've made it out of the house.
After four weeks of being held up in my bed or my couch, I've decided to leave.
I took a walk and I ended up here, at this bridge.
The same bridge Julio asked me out on, the same bridge we had our first kiss on, the same bridge I almost lost my virginity on, and the same bridge I got proposed to on...
It all happened so fast, one second I was living for the thrill of at all. The thrill of him.
The next second I was screaming at him to leave, telling him how much I hate him.
The last second I'm barely holding on to whatever happiness I have left... I'm ready to let go, I don't want to be anyone without him.
Maybe that's why I ventured all the way out here in this 40 degree wether, maybe I don't want to live without him.
If I went through with it, I'd go in the same place I found so much happiness in.
I climbed up on the bridge and sat on the ledge, my feet dangling as I watched the harsh water below, if I were to fall I'd land on boulders, but the heaviness of the stream would drag me under and wash me away...
"Y/n?" I felt my blood go cold.
"Please get down lov- Y/n." He choked behind me, he choked on my name...
"Let me help you." Julio grabbed ahold of my waist and pulled me off of the bridge, I'm not sure why he's talking to me, after the way I blew up at him he had every right to hate me.
"Please don't sit up there alone." Julio looked like he wanted to cry.
I couldn't speak, my throat was dry, I felt awful, he looked like he hadn't slept in days, maybe even weeks, he looked like he was falling apart, we looked like we're falling apart.
Without speaking Julio pulled me into a big hug, one I've been embraced into a million times, one I've missed so much.
With that hug came tears, from him and I.
Tears of sorrow, and regret.
"Julio, I am so sorry, that doesn't excuse anything, but I can't..." I noticed his eyes on me, they looked like they were filled with nothing but love and adoration, even through every horrible thing I said to him.
"Y/n, I don't know who I am without you." Julio whispered as glistening tears fell from his gold irises.
"Julio..."
"No, listen to me."
I nodded my head signaling for him to speak.
"I love you, so fucking much! Even after all those horrible things you said to me! But I know you didn't mean any of them, because I know you..." Julio swallowed thickly before continuing,
"You have changed my life for the better, I only wish you could understand how much I truly love you, I can't be here without you. Y/n, who am I without you?" Julio's words took me by surprise causing the tears to spill from my eyes.
"I don't want to know." I shook my head as I laid it against his chest.
"Come back to me." Julio stated, it wasn't a question. He wanted me, needed me, just as much as I did him.
"Be mine again.." he gulped.
"I never stopped being yours."
___________________________________________
~Authors Note~
THIS IS THE LONGEST ONE I'VE WRITTEN SO FAR. I don't know why I typed in all caps.
Anyway, BROS EYES GOT ME:😍😍🧎♀️🙏🏻
He's so beautiful, currently kicking my feet over him. Anywho, someone asked for this beautiful man so here you are✨
Enjoy this, because in all honesty, I have no clue what I just wrote😭
Bo Bichette imagine next...
Until the next chapter, much love~🤍
