Leo Valdez One-Shot Book

Unconditional Love

   His mother was many things; beautiful yet rejected by society, smart beyond belief, charming, and most of all capable of love and loving more than anyone could ever care to think of.

   She had showered him with praise every step of the way, every teeny tiny step since he was a baby, literally and figuratively. And he never thought for a single moment he could ever forget her glowing face, the perfect imperfections, the glamourous impurities, that all lit up at the sight of her little lion. From the lines on her face from both smiling too much and of classic old age to the over-prominent dimples that dug so far into her face Leo thought it looked painful.

   His mother's hand radiated warmth wherever he went, guiding him along or helping him when he fell. And of course to cradle him when he was hurt.

   To drag him to school and as a make-shift leash when returning, she was there, always.

   It was weird how Leo didn't really notice it at first, it was after all a constant warmth that he had never really lived without. Because since the moment he was born, completely and utterly quiet it had always just been him and his mother.

   His father -curse his name- had never been a part of his life, whether he wanted to or not Leo, oddly enough to say, never really minded.

   When he would ask where he was or if he cared his mother would just simply shrug, and put on a goofy face, saying "I dunno" real fast, then get back to the latest book she was eating up. she never held any resentment from what Leo could tell, she just spoke of the time she had with him softly, recounting the memories with nostalgia as a bedtime story.

   though poor, their undying love and loyalty to each other helped them through it. when neither had enough of their plates they would have to pretend picnics and tea parties from a set they found together half hanging out of a dumpster on a trip back from his mother's workshop.

   and sometimes when Leo was lucky she would take him to work with her if she had the weekend shift, and he would get to make toys with spare parts. some they sold, some they kept. his mother always said he should open a toy shop, full of his own desires and makings because after all as of now, they had always sold out.

   the way she would ruffel his tangled curls smiling softly, and periodically get her ring stuck somehow then Leo would always have to stay still for five minutes, waiting for her to untangle her fingers from his hair without hurting him.

   that love- that unconditional love had stayed with him, for eight years. and then it disappeared.

   like a flame put out in the wind, it was there, burning so bright, its warmth seeping into your skin, making you feel at peace wherever you may be, then it wasn't. his light, his warmth, taken from him. What was rightfully his, what was given to him by his one love in life, simply vanished when he was just a measly eight years of age.

   Leo doesn't remember much after that, it was all a mesh of colours and shapes, blurring together by the refraction of his own tears and a loose imagination that it was all a dream.

   because it had to be, right? he had heard the expression "life's not fair" so many times from his mother but it couldn't be this rigged, right? it couldn't be this cruel.

   People gave him condolences at the funeral, though he could see through their clever words, there was nothing behind their expressions, and he knew that no one except him wanted to be there, no one was as happy as they looked on the outside. however, despite the smiles people melded onto their faces, no one gave a speech, and no one took it upon themselves to make any sort of attempt at consoling him.

   every interaction Leo had at the event was either a quick and simple yet effective "I'm sorry for your loss" or a completely exaggerated and not to forget the mention of awkward old ladies squishing his cheeks and pinching them so hard they turned a deep rose colour. they would say "Oh look at how you've grown!" or "Oh my gosh! Aren't you just the cutest thing!" then waddle off to go converse with their friends.

   and for the first time in forever, there was no constant presence in his life, no warm hand to reach out to, no one to shower him with praise and most of all, no one to even smile at him. The closest he dreamt of getting was a scowl and a faint mention of a "devil child" under Aunt Rosa's breath.

   Leo wasn't paying attention anymore, in fact, it would be years before he even realized that was his mother's funeral.

   because- that same unconditional love, the feeling that was supposed to stay with him for years had been taken away from him in the blink of an eye. the feeling was gone with nothing left residual except an empty plane for which to stand alone and exist.

   and that was all he did for a while. stand, sit, pay attention and follow orders like any normal child would do. there would be gaps in his memory where he couldn't remember anything, blank spaces like termites eating away at his mind. years later, he would try and look back, when one day he was nine, eating dinner out of a garbage can, and the next he was eleven being taken back by social services.

   life only really started to make sense again when he found the wilderness school, there was still no warmth or guiding hands, and most of all none of that fairy tale love like he wanted, but he found it was someplace nice. someplace permanent.

   and after everything, that happened afterward that I won't bother going into full detail about, he found there was still an empty place deep somewhere inside his chest. it felt cool, freezing despite his regular body temperature. like a wet towel soaking everything up until it couldn't anymore and it inevitably started dripping, leaking deep into the depths of Leo's soul. or maybe it already had, the dark feeling, the exact opposite of unconditional love was seeping into his bones, chilling him down from the inside.

   was it really all that selfish of him to ask that he be held just one more time? his life, his everything, and his love had all been taken away from him eight years ago, all those being that face he wished to see one more time. even if it meant his own life.

   but her face, his own mother's face had been slowly fading ever since he had lost her all these years ago. the way she snorted just a little bit when she laughed, and when she got so lost in a book her mouth would hang open and she wouldn't even notice the drool pooling down her neck.

   just little things at first, yet now, her form was just an outline with her ever-messy hair present like a thick shadow following her everywhere. all his mother's facial features had completely disappeared, leaving nothing but a black mask, as if he had scribbled out her face in permanent marker and then hidden the evidence under his bed.

   now whenever Leo remembered her he couldn't even tell if she was smiling or not. if she was amused by his jokes, or if she was raising her eyebrows as if to tell him he was doing something he shouldn't.

   her voice was a low metallic grumble like his machines had made their way into his deepest thoughts and invaded his dearest memories. there was no hint of accent as she spoke anymore, instead, it was Leo's voice because that was the closest thing he had. the closest thing he could grasp onto.

   because that warmth, those hands, and that same unconditional love would never re-appear.

   and that same unconditional love was lost, lost in the heart and soul of Thanatos. That unconditional love he wouldn't ever get to clutch in his slender fingers again.

   he had let his moments with her slip away. there was nothing close that could ever come to replace that feeling he had for his mother. nothing close at all.

   because that unconditional love was gone. and it could never come back