Noisy Neighbor » lee know

Chapter 7: Fitting Tampons ft. SHINee

"Ahh, fuck!" 

Ava was wide awake, having waited for the girl to begin moaning for the two-inch neighbor she unfortunately had. She evilly smirked -- it was time to ruin his sex life... at least for tonight. 

She hopped out of her bed as Minho and his not-so-main hoe (sorry, sexy aunty) moaned louder and louder, and there, she had her favorite thing right before her: the set of loud music speakers. She contemplated whether she should do it or not. I mean, dude's gotta get lucky sometimes, no?

"Harder, daddy!" 

No. That cringe dialogue from a random Wattpad fanfiction changes everything. 

Ava linked the speakers to her phone, and turning up the volume to max, she put on her earbuds and played the music. 

The tune played, and there it was: 

"RING DING DONG, RING DING DONG!" 

---

Minho was, you know, doing his thing with his presumably two-inch thing (said Ava), and he was about to, you know, put his thing in the girl's thing- 

Okay, Beyonce did say that the innocence is gone, so let the author rewrite it. 

Minho was inserting himself into that girl's womanhood yet again, having teased her enough. She was crying out due to his size (two-inch who?), and he grunted, "Fuck, you're so tight-" 

"FANTASTIC ELASTIC ELASTIC-" 

The two paused. 

"I thought you said I was tight?" the girl raised a brow. 

Minho got off the bed, "But you're-" 

"ELASTIC ELASTIC ELASTIC-" 

"Don't tell me!" the girl gasped, "How am I gonna fit my tampons in there?!" 

He groaned, and grabbed the bedspread to tie around his torso as he walked out onto his balcony, "YAH! TURN IT OFF!" 

"LIKE YOUR GIRL?" Ava yelled happily from her balcony.

"YOU-" 

"RIND DING DONG, RING DING DONG-"  the song played relentlessly from her room. 

"WHY THE HECK DO YOU KEEP BLASTING THE MUSIC SO LOUD?" Minho screamed. 

"AND WHY THE HECK DO YOU BANG YOUR GIRLS SO LOUDLY?" Ava retorted.

"TURN DOWN THE MUSIC!" he shouted, and at this point, Ava was about to go deaf herself, so she huffed and turned around on her heel to stop the music. She walked back into the balcony, and to her greatest shock and bewilderment and trauma and PTSD, the girl walked out onto the balcony, half-dressed. 

"WOMAN TIDDIES! HIDE YOUR TIDDIES!" Ava cried, blocking her view with her hands. 

The girl just stared at her, "What? Aren't you a woman, too? Do you not have 'em?" 

"Well, I don't wanna look at them in the middle of the night! I'm disgusted, kindly piss off," Ava groaned, and the girl scoffed and pulled up her dress. She then turned to Minho, and spoke in a sickly sweet manner, "Babe, I will-" 

"Yeah, goodnight," he dismissively waved her off, and she sulked, walking off. Ava watched with curious eyes as the girl dragged herself out of the balcony, and soon, limped out of his house. 

"How rude!" Ava accused, "Lee Minho, you're an asshole!"

"What did I do?" he questioned aggressively. 

She sighed in disgust at him, and then turned away, "Put on some clothes, dummy." 

With that, she retired into her room, and just as she was about to turn off the lights, she saw her phone buzzing. She picked it up, checking the time: 3:47 AM. And she realized that it was Chan's call.

She answered it, "Hello-" 

"AVAAAAA!" Chan's screech from the other end alarmed her. 

"CHAN, I LITERALLY JUST HEARD RING DING DONG ON FULL VOLUME, SO PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO DEAF!" 

"...Okay, chill," he nervously laughed. 

"It's gonna be 4 AM, Chan. Why are you still awake?" 

"It would be unusual to find me sleeping at this hour, honestly," he remarked, and she hummed, "Hm, yeah. So what happened at this ungodly hour?"

"FELIXIE!" 

"We're on nicknames now? Boy, it's been a day!" 

"Yeah, but!" she heard him giggle, "HE TEXTED ME AND TOLD ME THAT HE LIKES MY BICEPS!"

"...what?" she made the stonk face. 

"YEAH!" 

"Why didn't he say that to Changbin, though? He has bigger biceps," Ava made a point, and Chan gasped, offended. 

"Excuse me! I'm bigger! You know what else is big?" 

"NO NO, CHAN, NO!" 

"...I was gonna say my feet, but you're kinda making a point there-" 

"Goodnight, kangaroo man."

She hung up, and then plopped down on her bed. Was she proud of ruining Minho's sooxy night? Hell yes! Did she feel about the girl he ignored? Well, yes again. 

"I should console her tomorrow."

(a/n: this was written on a whim because i have fever now and im getting a caffeine high alongside that, too 

HOW WAS THIS? 

thanks for reading! i love you!)