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Chapter 9: We're Back To The Survival Show (cries)

"Ava, you're a menace," Hyunjin's eyes widened upon hearing her plan, and she grinned at him cunningly, "You've gotta be a menace to deal with a menace, sweetie." 

"But are you seriously telling me that you're gonna ask that girl to pretend to be Changbin's girlfriend -- who, mind you, is known to be gay -- so that she can have a chance to date Minho? How does that make sense?" 

"Have you not seen these bimbos? They're ready to do anything to get into that idiot's pants," Ava explained, "And look at her. She was half naked- actually, don't picture that," she kept a hand on his eyes when he turned to look at her. 

"Ew, gross." 

"Exactly!" 

"Are you really gonna do this?" Hyunjin asked again. 

"Well, if it includes making Chan happy and annoying Minho, then I'm a hundred percent in," she tightly smiled, "Like look at Chan right now..." 

The two turned to see Chan sitting before a rose and reciting poetry at it, "Roses are red, violets are blue; Felix is Changbin's, and now I might just eat glue." 

"I can't see him like that," Hyunjin frowned, "Look how sad he is." 

She nodded, "And weird. And his poetry is cringe. And he looks like a Wattpad Romeo. And-" 

"I thought we were pitying him?" 

"Right, yes," Ava snapped out of it, "We have to work." 

"Class starts in 3 minutes, by the way," Hyunjin stated, and she halted, "Oh, shit, we'll have to miss today's class!" 

"Yeah, it's not that deep-" 

"IT IS!" she screeched. 

"Um, if you say so?" 

Ava was fighting an inner battle -- miss the class and save Chan's sanity, or attend the class and leave him talking to a rose. What if he moved on to a sunflower next and recited another sucky poem at it? According to the logic of Plants vs Zombies, his zombie-like energy level could easily kill the flower. And, dude, Felix was a sunflower himself. 

So she sighed dramatically and agreed, "Let's skip a class."

"Oh, my my, Ava-"

"Don't push it."

"Aight."

The two walked off, and Hyunjin questioned her, "But why do you want this girl to have a chance with Minho, though?"

"Now I might seem like a menace here, but hear me out: I know for a fact that he doesn't bring home the same girl twice. Don't ask me how I know that," she shuddered, "So I wanna annoy the fuck out of him. I'm gonna send that girl to annoy him all the time, and that'd be a good revenge."

"...Ava, what have you become?" Hyunjin kept a hand on his chest and gasped, eyes growing as wide as your girl's buttho- okay, sorry.

"Lee Minho's sex life is my villain origin story."

"You're evil, woman," he shook his head in astonishment.

Chan then approached them, still looking sad, "Hey..."

"Chan!" Hyunjin spoke, "Let's eliminate Changbin!"

Chan rubbed his temples, "I thought we were done with the survival show already?"

Oops, the author broke the character. Let's rewind.

"Let's eliminate Changbin!"

"Ah," Chan sighed, "You don't need to do that anymore. I have resorted to poetry as the sole focus of my life. Perhaps I'll write poems under a streetlight at night under a bridge, and wander around, aimless, desolate-"

"Dude," Ava intervened, "You literally know that guy for a day or two."

"But he's the love of my life! The father of my children! The stone of my kidney!"

Hyunjin smelled him, "Did you drink something?"

"Whaaa? Noooo!" Chan, you aren't a good liar.

"The truth, Chan."

"Okay, I might have needed just a little motivation."

"HOW DID YOU SNEAK ALCOHOL IN THE COLLEGE?" Hyunjin was shooketh.

"By putting it in my bag?"

"Oh, God, this is a mess!" Ava sighed.

"I'm kinda out of breath right now," Chan spoke.

Hyunjin nudged him in the gut, shyly tucking a lock of hair behind how own ear, "Aw, I'm not that handsome, huehuehue."

"No, dude. I just can't breathe."

"That's," Ava pointed a finger at him, "Is because the air isn't going to your lungs. It's going straight to your bum to inflate it."

"Um, I didn't know that we'd be analysing my bum today?" Chan raised a brow. Man was too sober to even appear drunk.

"Shut up, men. I see that girl over there," Ava pointedly looked at the girl whose chest dumplings she'd seen the previous night (the author is crying what is this description).

"You into girls now?" Chan genuinely asked. Like, genuinely, "Are we all gay now?"

"Bro, I am straight," Hyunjin said.

"Straight and you have never fucked once. You're deffo gay," Chan sassed.

Hyunjin was also a sass queen, let's not forget that, "Uh huh? You're talking as if you fucked Felix."

Chan stood quietly, and then hung his head, sadly speaking, "Roses are red, Hyunjin is bald; I am going to cry, goodbye world."

Ava sighed.

(a/n: why is this the longest filler ever.

Last night, I saw a doggo on the street. The doggo was cute. Then he started following me. The doggo was now terrifying.

IM SORRY LMAO HOW WAS THE CHAPTER?

thanks for reading! I love you!)