What's Said in Silence

Sera-XXXIV

My knees knocked into Sams as the car ran over a bump in the road. I wouldn't have thought that this many people could fit into a vehicle that wasn't a bus, yet surprisingly, we fit into the SUV without feeling like sardines in a can. 

After what had to have been the most whirlwind morning of my life, and after many introductions on Vessels part, we had all climbed into the SUV and started the drive from the hotel to the venue. Being ten minutes into the drive, we were nearly there, provided we didn't blow a tire on one of these dips in the road. 

III picked at IV's mask, earning himself a swat on the hand by IV. This progressed into slight wrestling in the middle row of seats. Adam seemed unfazed by the chaos unfurling next to him. I never had brothers growing up, but I imagine this is what they would have acted like if I did. My sister and I had a similar playful dynamic. 

Evelyn. 

My heart clenched at the memory of her name and a renewed sense of guilt washed over me. Coupled with the air being sucked out of my lungs, I desperately needed this car ride to be over. Being at the back and in the middle of Sam and Vessel, I didn't have the option of cracking a window for some air. 

I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and worked to keep my breathing steady, though I was struggling to do so. Vessel discreetly circled his thumb against the side of my thigh whilst looking out the window on his other side. I didn't know if it was his intention to calm me because he could sense the turmoil within me or if he just wanted his own excuse to touch me. Either way, it was comforting. 

We turned onto a street alongside a large building and pulled around behind it. The car came to a stop in front of a grey metal door. Our driver and security guard jumped out of the front seats. The security guard held open the door to the building while the driver opened the door. 

One by one we filed out of the car, Vessel just ahead of me holding his hand out to help me out of the car. Something so mundane but it felt so extraordinary coming from him. Butterflies erupted in my stomach every time he touched me, so the brief contact between our hands was no exception. 

We were led through a series of hallways and out to the auditorium. There wasn't much need for dressing rooms at the current moment due to everyone already being in full costume, per Vessels request. 

I stood off to the side while Sam slid past me to help some of the other stage hands set up all the instruments. Adam stood opposite to me, adjusting the lens on his camera. Upon closer inspection, it was a Panasonic Lumix. The one I used to have was a Canon Eos, which was much cheaper than the Lumix. 

"Considering getting one?" Adam finally spoke, obviously noting the way I was staring at his camera. Heat rushed to my face as I shook my head. "Have you ever had one?" He asked with genuine curiosity. I hesitated a moment before nodding my head. He waved me over and I took a few tentative steps to close the distance between us. 

"The best thing about this one is that it comes with 6K video and phase-detection..." He trailed into a mini dissertation about the cameras specs and benefits while I listened intently, watching him flip through the cameras settings. 

I missed my camera, I hated that it got taken in for evidence. Even when they had found nothing of use on it, they kept it locked away until after the trial. It was supposed to be mailed back to me, but it a horrible twist of fate, it got lost in transit. 

In some capacity it was better this way. I feel that I might have come to resent photography if I had brought it here with me, due to the memories attached to that camera alone. I didn't want that. Photography was one of the few things that brought me any kind of peace, I wanted it to stay that way. 

I could feel the intensity of someones stare, causing me to look up and be met with Vessel looking at me from the other side of the stage. One of the stage hands was saying something to him while using all kinds of hand motions, to which Vessel gave vacant nods while continuing to watch me. I offered him a small smile before returning my attention back to what Adam was showing me. 

"All in all it's a great quality-" He was interrupted by a small coughing fit. He cleared his throat before attempting to continue, "Sorry, but yeah, it's a great camera. I highly rec-" Another coughing fit. He excused himself and went to the back of the room where a table full of water bottles and other snacks was positioned. 

When I turned back around, he was already heading towards me in long strides. I still didn't understand how such a large man could move so fluidly without even trying, but he managed to do exactly that. 

"Everything alright?" He asked, still closing the distance between us. I nodded my head. "I like to think that it was the camera that had your interest, rather than the man holding it." He said in a much sweeter tone, but there was an underlying warning to it. He watched Adam for a second longer before turning his attention to me, giving me a soft smile. Was Vessel... jealous? 

Normally I found a jealous streak in a guy off-putting, but the way Vessel showed his jealousy was more protective than threatening. I smiled back at him before reaching between us and wrapping my fingers around his thumb, giving him a small squeeze in reassurance. 

That seemed to be enough for him as he squeezed my fingers in turn before turning back to talk to the stage hands again. I decided it was best for me to stick farther off to the side and stay out of the way, so I found a chair along the back wall and took a seat. As soon as I got comfortable I had to fight the heaviness in my eyelids. 

Last night's activities flashed through my mind as I tipped my head back against the wall, justifying my exhaustion. I couldn't help the giddy feeling that rose in my chest and the heat that crept into my cheeks. I allowed my eyes to shut as I mentally replayed everything in vivid detail. It was well worth the exhaustion I was feeling now.