What's Said in Silence

Vessel-XXXXXIII

"I was beginning to wonder how long it would take you to come clean." My PR manager, Terry, said smugly from behind his desk. I had made the decision on New Year's Day to fill management in on the growing relationship between Sera and I. It seemed only right, considering we'd been outed anyways. Though, there was a silent agreement between us that it was time. 

"Don't act so entitled to my private life." The smugness vanished almost as quick as it'd come. I liked him as our manager, though sometimes he took advantage of his position and allowed his nose to creep into places it didn't belong. He crossed predetermined bounds on occasion and it was up to me to realign those bounds. "The relationship had developed a great deal over the last couple of weeks and I deemed it necessary to bring it to reality. I'm telling you out of courtesy, nothing more." His nostrils flared and his lips pursed. 

"This girl," He waved his hand in the air, as if hoping the right words for such a delicate matter would fall into it. "are you absolutely sure that she can be trusted with your identity?" He asked. It was exactly the question I had expected him to ask, though I didn't like my own answer for it.

"She's mute." I received a bored look in return for my deflection. 

"I'm aware of that, but that's not what I'm asking." He pushed further.

"She still doesn't know." The words felt like fire coming from my mouth. How could I have gotten this far with a woman who didn't even know my first name? Better yet, why was I selfish enough to be okay with our dynamic as it was?

"You're telling me, as much time as you've spent together, living together, sleeping together," There was a double meaning to that last part and he and I both knew it, but I'd let it slide this one time for his own benefit. "and she hasn't seen you without a mask?" I nodded my head in confirmation.

"And I thought you were strange." He muttered under his breath, making my blood simmer. I gripped the arm rests of the chair to ground myself. "Are you going to?" He asked, genuinely curious. 

To unmask myself to anyone, let alone a woman I was involved in, came with several risks and very limited rewards. Though, I felt the reward I'd gain from Sera would triumph over all the risks and the hell I'd endured at the manipulative hands of a deity. Still, I didn't think I was ready.

"I'm not sure." I finally answered. The thought had crossed my mind several times, but there were times I grew nauseous at the notion.

"What do you mean you're not sure?" Judgement laced his tone in thick imprints.

"I mean I haven't entirely made up my mind on that subject." I snapped back. He raised his hands in the air in surrender. I took a deep inhale to calm the irritation growing within me. They were valid questions and I understood that, I just didn't like that I couldn't answer them, even for myself.

"Are you wanting this to go public?" He asked, it was a perfunctory question rather than one of his own curiosity. Regardless of the fact that I didn't show much of myself to the public besides what they saw on stage, Sera came with a prerequisite of avoiding the public eye. If I could figure out a way to guarantee her absolute safety, I'd allow her whatever freedoms she desired. She'd demonstrated to me that she could remain respectful of my position. 

"No, her life stays under the radar just the same as mine. In fact, make sure everything is airtight from this moment forward." I stood from my seat and he mirrored my actions, signaling the end of our discussion. As it was the gentlemen thing to do, we shook hands before I turned towards the door. 

That was that, it was out there in the open among the team. I had no worries that everyone would remain respectful to her about our situation, although Terry might have his own speech to give her, more out of caution than anything else. I'm sure he was figuring out every way possible to keep this just as hidden as everything else, this was a first for the collective. While the others had indulged in their own recreational activities in their personal lives, no one had been brought this close to the group. 

"Can I offer some unsolicited advice?" He asked, making me stop in my tracks just before I reached the door. I turned back to face him and he took my silence as permission. "If I were you, I wouldn't take that thing off unless you intend on marrying the girl. Anything can happen in just a short amount of time so just make damn sure of your decisions." He sat back into his seat and picked up a few papers, busying himself while my brain short-circuited.

Marriage. I'd never given the sentiment much thought before, then again it had never been put in front of me so blatantly. Though the idea of calling someone a wife, my wife, was appealing in its own sense, being so irrevocably tied to someone made my skin crawl. I'd already formed such a bond, mistakenly with the supernatural likeness, and it had not played out in my favor. 

This was where my selfishness would hit its peak. I expected her to be mine for lifetimes to come, but I couldn't bring myself to take the mask off or even make an honest woman of her. This greed would eat away at me, but my obsession with her outweighed any remorse I had. Though, I couldn't stop the image of her in white from invading my thoughts. 

We'd started something I couldn't see an end to. While my mind was made and I had solidified my goals in life, I wasn't so self-assured to think that I'd never relent. As she often did, the possibility of her bending my resolve was high. A small part of me hoped that she might.