Even if we're miles apart // l.s♡

40

Do you ever get days where you just feel like utter shit with no explanation? Well, today is that day for me.

I woke up feeling a heavy weight in my chest. I decided to ignore it, get ready, and drive Niall and I to uni. After two classes, I realized I wasn't getting any better. I just feel so down today, though I was fine yesterday. It happens to the best, I guess.

I decided to leave school and just go home. I got a bunch of snacks because nothing can comfort me more than food. Niall's not with me. Only sadness is my companion right now.

Niall had called to ask where I have been. I told him I felt sick and went home to not worry him. Though that didn't work much as his voice got all panicked, I assured him I was already feeling well and just wanted to keep resting at home. He seemed to have been settled by that.

Now, "Where's My Love" by SYML is playing on my tv while I'm on my bed with snacks laid around me. I stare blankly at the ceiling in the dark with only the youtube video as my light source. It's a good thing I got blackout curtains. I usually love the glow of the sun peeping through my curtains, but not today.

I'm in my Dracula era, I guess.

Darkness engulfs me as the sad melody feels my ears, and it feels nice. I know being sad is generally not a good thing, but people need to feel sadness once in a while to appreciate happiness.

A piano tune I know all too well starts to play, which makes me sit up from my bed. "Falling" is on the tv, and I see my beautiful Harry playing the piano. It's the music video.

Of course, it would play.

It's downright one of the best songs to listen to when you want to get into the feels. Or when you just want to feel something, it will never fail you.

Hearing Harry's voice, I couldn't help but burst into tears. We haven't talked in two days. Almost three now. No, nothing happened. It's just that we're both extremely busy and happen to be across the world from each other. We could try to call each other, but when I'm free, he's busy. When I'm asleep, he's awake and vice versa.

The time difference between us is pretty shit.

I just miss him so much. It hurts. Like, literally.

I need him to touch me, tell me about his day, and hear him talk about whatever he wishes to talk about. Do I seem such like a clingy bitch right now? Yes, but you can't blame me! He's my husband for all I care. Plus, he was the one to propose and chose to marry a clingy person like me, so he better put up with it.

Well, he's also a clingy person, but I just feel silly and pathetic right now. Am I overreacting? Because all I want is to be with him while I haven't even received one single text from him these past few days.

He's probably just busy, and I'm out here overthinking.

Too busy for me

My chest starts to tighten as my heart feels as if it's about to burst, but everything comes out once I hear his voice playing again. I'm bawling like a fucking mad man. I hate feeling like this.
I hate how my mind still finds a way to overthink despite being in a healthy relationship. Harry has my full trust in everything. I know he loves me and wouldn't do something awful as to replace and forget me. But what if what I think is wrong...

See?! here it is again. I snort the mucus, tempting to run out of my nose and slap both of my cheeks. With a shaky voice, I say, "Stop it, Louis."

I open a bag of goldfish and grab a handful. It's fucking delish. I haven't had these in a while. I open a small tub of cookie dough ice cream and sprinkle some goldfish.