My Angel

CHAPTER 6

FREEN

Dinner was the same as usual, but something was simply different. If you look at it from the outside, it looks like a normal family gathering where everyone is having a good time, sharing a sumptuous meal while exchanging conversations or each other's daily lives, all the good and the bad, but that's not how I see it. Pretty much everyone has been acting the same normal way that they are, all but one. Ever since I told her about my plan, Becky has become silent. I know that I messed up by letting things get this far without telling her, and I really regret that. I really should have told her the soonest possible.

The sight of her being dejected and sad as she makes her way towards her bathroom has been engraved in my mind, and the guilt I'm feeling has multiplied tenfold. I know it's just an excuse, but back then, the image of Becky being sad because of my decision was really breaking my heart, so I ended up postponing it for the next chance until finally it was this late—maybe already too late.

I actually wanted to stay and wait for her to come out of the bathroom, but I know her well enough to know that Bec can really be stubborn, so I simply did what I thought would be for the better and left first. I told Richie, who was waiting for us downstairs, what happened, and he was the one who accompanied Becky until they arrived here.

Since coming here, Bec has been acting differently. She has been smiling but I know that she's not really happy. I can also tell that everyone knows that she not being her usual self. She has been interacting with us, pitching in with the story every now and then, answering questions that are directed to her but I can see the distracted look on her face. It's like she's thinking about something so deeply that her mind is not really here.

I also noticed that Bec has talked to everyone in this room but me. She would not participate in the conversations that are about me or those that have been started by me, she would not listen or pretend not to hear me when I say something, she would also start a conversation with someone else just so she could avoid talking to me, she's not even looking my way and these actions of hers are really making me wanna cry.

I don't like having to see her being sad or devastated because seeing her with a not good expression on her face is also making me worried and sad, I didn't know that having her be like this towards me would hurt so much. It hasn't even been an hour but I'm already missing my cute and adorable Becbec. It pains me so much to be in this situation that I'm barely holding my tears inside. What can I do to make this all better? Will I be able to make it all better? Will I be able to have my bb back? I can only blame no one else but myself.

As we get to dessert, I quickly picked up my phone and hid it under the table, trying to be discrete as I write a message to Richie, writing just a single word 'HELP'. Once sent, I made sure to keep my eyes on Richie and waited for him to check my message. We exchanged messages back and forth, formulating a plan in order for me to be able to talk to Becky again before the night ends.

With some quick thinking and a few calculated maneuvers, we were able to execute our plan and have both our parents take the first car home and the three of us—Richie, Becky, and me—take the second car together. Richie was driving and we managed to make it so that Bec and I were seated in the backseat together.

"Bec" I called out to her, but I can see that she already has her guard up. "I'm really sorry" I said. "I know and I understand that you're angry at me, but please don't be like this" I was pleading. "I am aware that by doing what I did, I hurt you with my indecisiveness, and I really regret it" I started explaining to her.

"Please" Becky interjected with her head down. "Can you not do this now?" she said calmly, but I can hear the slight quiver in her voice. "I would really appreciate it if you'd give me some time in order for me to organize my thoughts and condition myself because I really am feeling overwhelmed right now" she said continuously, still without looking at me. I really want her to look me in the eyes for her to see my sincerity, but I can see that this is really hard for her. I can see that this decision of mine has really affected her so much and I can see how much pain I have inflicted on her, the one person I dear most. "I really don't want to talk to anyone right now because I don't want to let my emotions, which are already all over the place, take control of me" she added. Just then, I saw something fall to her thigh and was surprised to know what it was. She's crying.

For as long as I can remember, I have made one promise that I made sure to keep and that is to do what it takes to make Becky happy and so that nothing bad comes in her way. For the first time in over a decade, I have broken that promise. Today, tonight, and right this instant, I just made my Becbec cry.

I want to explain more, clarify everything, and hopefully fix this situation before going home, but now I can see that what I hope to achieve will not be possible. By trying to talk to her more, I'm doing nothing but give her more pain, and I realize that now. I know now that giving her some time to think is the best choice. "Ok" I said, resigning.

With that, the rest of the duration of our car ride home was silent with only the sound from those outside of the vehicle can be heard. I didn't dare to say a word and simply gazed at the window, not towards the view outside but to the silhouette of the girl across me that can be seen from the reflection on the window. 

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Hi everyone!

Here's another chapter...

I'm trying to update at least once a week...

When I'm able to have more free time, I'll try to update faster...

Until then, I hope you enjoy this chapter and see you in the next one...