My Angel

CHAPTER 25

FREEN

I feel numb.

I honestly don't recall how I got here after Becky practically ran away from me earlier. All I know right now is that I hurt her once again; I made her cry once again. Despite my promise to not cause her heartache, I still made her cry—not once but twice already. The image of her tear-streaked face as she tries to stay strong is etched clearly in my mind, and it hurts. It has now become a constant reminder of what I had done to the person I hold dear.

"I'm pretty sure she hates me now" I found myself saying out loud as I lay down on my bed, staring at my plain white ceiling, which I suspect would be an ironic representation of what my life would be like without that little girl who is practically a ball of sunshine—a pack of colors that painted my dull gray world.

Was my decision incorrect? Was talking to her the right action? I practically forced her to be placed into a situation she cannot run away from. I was able to finally tell her and let her know the truth; I made sure this time that she would learn the truth from me, but was my method really the best way I could have done it?

The moment that I heard those plates breaking that night, I already knew that I had hurt her again, but the stubborn part of me wished that she wasn't. When I heard about how she had locked herself inside her room, I knew that my previous wish of her not being hurt was nothing but wishful thinking. The moment that I saw her walking down the stairs after locking herself in for a few days showed me just how much my actions have truly hurt her, but none of these could have prepared me for the realization of the intensity of the pain that I have inflicted on her by our conversation just moments ago.

I knew that she was not going to be happy about my relationship with someone she doesn't know, that's mostly the reason why I've only told my parents about this. I was being careless when I told Richie that night. I should have been more aware of my surroundings, or maybe I should have just told them both that night. Realizing my mistake is what made me choose to do this and practically forced her to have the talk that I know she doesn't want to have.

Was I being too selfish? Did I fail to anticipate how she'd react?

I wonder where exactly everything went wrong, what exactly I did wrong.

I felt so frustrated and exhausted that I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep. I woke up only to find myself in the same exact position, even the feeling that I thought would somehow get better as a result of the night's rest, but no, instead of feeling better, I'm only feeling worse now.

I know that I need to have another talk with Bec, a proper conversation at that, but now is not really ideal. I need to finish the work that I left yesterday and complete every paperwork that I need to submit by today. I can't be complacent just because we own the company, I need to show that I am worthy of the position so I could actually inherit it.

Pushing everything aside (for the time being), I went and prepared myself for the long day of paperwork that awaited me.

Once done with my preparation, I went to get my car to finally get to work. I was contemplating whether to ask someone to prepare food for me to take to work but that would take some time to be prepared. Then I thought of going through a drive-through to get myself something to eat, but thought that that too would be a waste of time. After all, I need to show up early at work to get all my unfinished work done.

Feeling weak and less motivated, I put on my work smile, saying hello and giving good mornings to the very few people that I had encountered as I made my way to my office.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I steeled my resolve to focus on work today before finally opening my office door.

"Freen" I heard someone call me timidly, and I looked up to find the owner of the voice. The voice I would never mistake for someone else, ever. "Bec"

"Sorry for coming here this early in the morning" she looks very apologetic and anxious at the same time.

I actually felt myself frozen in place because I know for a fact that she's still angry at me. I don't know if I should feel relieved and relax or prepare myself for an outburst from her. "It's ok" I said, finally managing to unfreeze myself and walk forward, closer to her.

"I brought you sandwiches and tea, I know you like them" she stated as she pointed towards the neatly placed paper bag on top of my desk. I wonder how long she waited for me and what time she got up just to get those for me. Had I not come this early, would she have waited for me until I arrived?

I wanted to ask, but I chose not to. "Thank you" I said and she gave a nod in response.

I wanted to start our conversation, but I didn't know what to say. I tried so hard to think of something to break the awkward atmosphere between us, but clearly, I'm failing.

"You must be wondering what I'm doing here at this time of the day" she finally said after a few moments of awkward silence.

"Is this about yesterday?" were the words that came out of my mouth. I wanted to be discreet but ended up bringing the topic out with my own mouth instead.

"Yes" she answered "It is" she confirmed once more. "I had some time to think about it, I talked about it with Irin too, and I realized that I may have acted too selfishly yesterday" she was looking down, her fingers fidgeting. I can tell that she's uneasy.

"I guess what I wanted to say is---" Whatever it was that she was going to say was interrupted by the opening of my office door and someone calling my name.

The voice is very familiar, and it didn't take me long to put a face to the voice, immediately making me look back in panic.

"Babe?" I looked at him with a puzzled face.

"I'm sorry, it seems that my time is up and I'm no longer needed here" Becky said with a cold voice, and I didn't have to look at her to know that she's once again hurt by this turn of events.

Soon enough, she walked past the two of us and then through the door, not bothering to even look back.

"Bec" I called her one last time as I finally caught on to her and held her arm. I pulled on her a little, wanting for her to look at me, but she didn't, she only continued to look forward.

"You did tell me he's gonna be here soon" I heard her say "I just didn't think it would be this soon" her voice was monotone and sad "I need to go school now" was the last thing she said before pulling her arm from my grip and immediately resuming her fast paced walk.

I wanted to follow her but I felt someone hold my arm from behind me "Is there a problem, babe?"

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