My Angel

CHAPTER 18

BECKY

"Come on, Bec" Richie said impatiently as he shifted himself from his seat on the couch "What is it that you wanted to say that you needed all three of us to be present?" I can hear both the worry and irritation present in his voice. "Let your sister talk, Richie" mom said to Richie patiently "How will she be able to say what she wants to say if you become mad or irritated from the very start" she added, and I was very thankful for that. My mom really is the best mom ever.

"Sorry" Richie replied calmly "Go ahead and tell us what you want to say, we'll listen to you" he added as he fixed himself on the couch once again. "Actually—" I started to say as I once again gathered courage to tell them the truth and get their permission.

"---there's something that I wanted to tell you" I said as calmly as I could, despite the nervousness that I'm feeling at the moment. I took a peek at their faces one by one and saw them simply waiting for me to finally say what I wanted to say. "I figured something out recently" I continued "I came to realize that I actually like someone" I said, trying to ease into the main topic.

"It's actually someone you know" I revealed, wanting to see the gist of their reaction. I was expecting them to start asking me questions, but there was none, which unexpectedly made me feel at ease and gave me a bit of confidence in the outcome of this conversation.

"And?" my dad asked after a moment of silence "And—and, it's actually a girl" I forced myself to say, and this time I could hear my voice quiver a little, but I did my best to ignore it and push through.

"I don't want you guys to be disappointed in me" I found myself explaining the moment I finished saying the last one. "It's not like I chose to pick a girl to like; it just so happens that the one I like is a girl." Even I can tell that I'm slightly panicking during this time. I wanted to look them in the eyes, but I couldn't. Instead, I found myself looking down on my fidgeting hands and saying, "I honestly don't see what's wrong with that, it's not like I'm going to change or anything, I'm still going to be the same me." I know that I've started ranting, but I also find it hard to stop.

"Bec" I heard my mom call for me, and that made me stop my mouth from running further. "Relax" she said to me, and surprisingly, I did. "Why don't you just tell us what exactly it is that you want to say, Bec" my dad added calmly, prompting me to relax even more.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and gain the necessary courage before I started talking again. "Ok" I said "What I really want to tell you guys is that---" I'm starting to feel hesitant to continue, but I made sure to push it aside and talk "--- recently, I have come to the realization that I've liked some for a while now. That person that I like happens to be a girl, and it's actually..." I started slowing down towards the end, but I made sure not to stop.

"Freen" Richie must have felt frustrated with my slowly spewed words and decided to finish my misery. Though I am seriously flustered and bewildered by what just happened, I didn't fail to see the disappointment in his voice.

"How did you know?" I asked, surprised, towards my unfazed brother. "Who doesn't?" the mockery in his voice was so obvious that it got me irritated for a moment, but then I remembered my parents, who are in the same room as us. I wonder if they, too, knew about this. I gazed in their direction and examined their faces. With a single nod from both of them, I finally got my answer. Astounded as I am, I managed to force myself to ask, "How long have you known?"

"I don't think you have to worry about that, Bec" my mom said, successfully evading my question completely. "That's right" dad supported mom "What you should be worrying about is what you'll have to do next or what you'll do about these feelings of yours" he continued, making me feel happy with how things are. "Do you plan to tell Freen about this and pursue her, or maybe keep quiet about this?" It was mom who asked this time "What do you plan to do?" she asked further.

"You're not angry? Or disappointed?" I can already tell that they are not, but I just couldn't help but ask. "I am" Richie answered, irritated. "You didn't have to call all of us just for something so trivial" He may look mad, but I can tell from his voice that he's happy "Or were you simple bragging about finally finding someone you like?" The mockery in his voice was very welcome to me for the first time and most probably the last in my entire life.

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"Open the door, Bec" I can hear Richie calling out to me just beyond the door, but I didn't have the energy to even answer, let alone get up and open the door to talk to him. The news really shocked me, and I know that I needed some time to process things and decide what I should do from here on out.

Richie, my mom, and my dad—even Freen—took turns knocking on my door, but I didn't have any motivation nor could I find any reason to answer them, so I simply went to bed and ignored them all. I might regret this action later on, but my instinct is telling me that this is what I need to do for now.

I spent the next few days locked inside my room as I tried to search for the answer as to what the right thing to do was. I honestly don't know how many days it's been since I suddenly woke up and everything became clear, so I got up from my bed promptly.

"I can't just give up like this!"

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