Triggerfinger (Flashpoint fanfic)(EDITING!)

Chapter 12

We lost Lew yesterday, it's been hard on us. We were all close to him but Spike, Spike was like his brother. I mean, they would spend nights and days with each other. I know how he feels though, the emptiness in his chest, the way it literally hurts, the way you feel numb, that everything hasn't exactly hit you yet. The way you want to anything but to be in your own head. Anything but listen to your own thoughts. I know. They gave him a week off but I'm pretty sure he's going to come in. I know how people in this state act and feel. He's going to come into work, he's going to blow off everybody, but he's going to do a hell of a good job, like he always does. I don't mean to make everything about me, but it's just easy to know what people like this are thinking. If that makes any sense. I'm currently sitting under the shower head, crying my eyes out. I feel like I was supposed to do something last night. I gasp and stand up, grabbing the towel, turning the shower off. Matt, shit I forgot about our date. I dry off and grab my phone, dialing his number.

"Hey." I say.

"Hi." He says.

"I am so sorry about last night I had a hard day at work and it totally slipped my mind." I explain.

"I know you lost a teammate, it's alright." He says. I sigh and relieved sigh.

"I'm sorry." I say again.

"Sarah it's fine, nothing to apologize for." He says through the phone.

"How about after work you come over and we have a pizza?" I smile.

"Sure, yeah of course." He chuckles.

"Alright see you later." I smile and hang up.

I dry my hair and get dressed, braiding my hair. I lock the door and get in my car and drive to HQ. I get in and everything is quiet and lonely, but everyone is here. I change get on the treadmill. I put my music in and start running. I look back and see Spike coming in, he has bags under his eyes and is droopy. I get off and go over to him, holding his face in my hands.

"I knew you would come in." I say.

"Same reason you did." He mumbles.

I wrap my arms around his neck and he wraps his around my waist, digging his face in my shoulder. I rub his back. Spike's always been like a little brother, even when I was in the hospital he'd come and we'd always joke around, even though it hurt to laugh.

He sniffles into my shoulder and I pull back, holding his face again and wipe his tears away with my thumbs.

"Don't cry." I smile, pushing back my tears.

"You're going to cry too." He laughs, his cute little dimples popping out.

"I love it when you smile so please don't frown." I smile giving him another hug before he goes and changes.

"How'd you do that?" Wordy asks.

"Do what?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"Make someone who just lost his best friend smile like that?" He asks.

"I know how he feels, I know how to make someone like that happier, the same way someone made me smile like that one day." I glance at Sam. I get back on the treadmill as Spike comes back out, hugging everyone with a smile on his face.

After yesterday I think we're all a little closer. I run for the rest of the time, thinking about Matt tonight. Boss stops up and we all change into our clothes without the gear and go into the briefing room, where we're all sitting around.

"So they're are six of us now." Boss says. "And uh 7 makes a team."

I know what he's getting at. We need a new Team Member and quickly.