Maidens & Killers

Presentation

     I don’t let myself unpack the last half hour with Garrick in the gym right now though, I need to keep my mind right in order to come face to face with a presentation of dragons. I head to the courtyard where we have been told to meet up and the energy is high in the hallways. People hustle and bustle here and there and back and forth, yelling to friends and fellow cadets with little order to chaos. I try to find any of the zen I have left after my interaction with Garrick and join the mass of moving bodies.

    Basgaith’s grounds on a cool clear day were breathtaking. Sure, you may die any given day here, but the scenery was unmatched.  There were already large lines of cadets forming so I join the one with the most fourth wing members, about four people behind Violet and Ridoc. The people that you surround yourself with during Presentation can often have an adverse effect on you, as dragon fire often has a wide range that isn’t forgiving.

    The line moves forward at a steady pace, and I can’t see the dragons before I crest the top of a large hill. Then, as if by magic, I can see large masses in the distance perched. No amount of meditation skills would settle my heart rate at this point. The dragons are massive, especially to someone who hasn’t been in close contact with one before. Fear coils in my belly like a snake and nausea overtakes me. I am immediately grateful that I skipped breakfast this morning.  If you haven’t eaten anything there is nothing to come up, right? I wished now more than ever that I didn’t feel so alone here, that I had allowed someone close to me. Violet and Rhi were friends, sure, but not confidants. We had an easy, casual friendship that was hindered by the fact that one of us may die today. I had a hard time letting my walls fully down because of that. I wish for at least the hundredth time that I had been able to convince Soren to join the riders quadrant with me. But even as I think that, a hulking frame that was just a short time ago pressed to my body comes to mind.

   By the time I reach the first dragon I have calmed my heart rate slightly, but the scorch marks I can see on the ground threaten to raise it back up. Cadets have died today. Judging by the smoke still creeping in, cadets have died within minutes of my passing. I make sure to walk steadily, head high and chest out. I make no direct eye contact with any dragons as I gaze at their formidable beauty. Two greens in front of me take and immediate interest in Violet I can see, though I am too far back to hear their interaction. I wonder to myself if one of them will select her at Threshing.

    I nearly stumble and fall as a loud voice speaks to me, but the voice seems to be coming from inside my head somehow. The voice is male with a light accent that I can’t quiet place and reminds me of the elderly bookshop owner at BookStones back home
“FEIRGE MAY SELECT HER, BUT I HAVE ALREADY MADE MY SELECTION.”
I look around terrified, no one else appears to be able to hear the voice.  As I desperately look around the other parading cadets I make direct eye contact with the closest green dragon, who had previously been almost sniffing at Violet.
“YES, IT IS I WHOM YOU SEEK. YOU MAY CALL ME CRAOBH. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE PRONUNCIATION.”
I am at a complete loss, not sure whether I should respond out loud or not.
“JUST SPEAK TO ME IN YOUR MIND FOR NOW, IT IS THE SAFEST.”
The safest?
Why are you talking to me? I think as I slow my steps down to stay near the large green dragon.
“BECAUSE I HAVE CHOSEN YOU RED ONE. BUT THE REST CANNOT KNOW YET, IT WOULD PUT YOU IN A GREAT DANGER. “
My heart jumps, and I come to a stop on the bridge we are all walking across.
“DO NOT STOP. KEEP WALKING AND WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN SOON.”

   I immediately begin walking again and try not to stare as I walk forward, stepping over a still smoking black spot. Someone had been scorched while I  was distracted by Craobh, taking my time on the name, making sure to pronounce it ‘kroove’ with a V.
“GOOD JOB RED ONE.”
I startle again, I will definitely need to get used to that feeling. I am distracted by the tiny golden dragon at the end of the bridge, it must be a baby. I paid little attention to the small dragon, knowing that the large green had already selected me, and noted that many of the riders stared at it.

     As my feet hit the solid earth again, I feel a smile stretch across my face. I couldn’t think of a better result today, not only was I alive, but I knew that come Threshing Day Craobh would be selecting me. I wasn’t going into the forest alone, not truly. I look around to see who is missing, and am happy to put eyes on most of my friends.  Fourth Wing has done well today, like usual. My squad is the smallest though, just one guy and myself. A few other squads are in similar conditions, I believe Liam may be the only one left in his. There will be changes made after Threshing, I am sure.

    I see Xaden and Garrick hanging around near the main building, and my first instinct is to speak to Garrick. I settle for a nod though, and he nods back to me. It’s almost as though we exchange a short conversation without using words. Yes, I made it. Good, I’m glad.
Violet and Rhiannon are chatting excitedly as I walk up to them, “Did you see one that you want to try to bond?” One of them asks me.
I try to make my face as calm as I can. “I’m not sure, it all happened so fast.”
Rhiannon nods, “ I have my eye on one of those green ones that noticed you Vi.”
Concern comes over me immediately. Could Craobh change his mind if he knew that Rhiannon was an option? What if Craobh doesn’t change his mind and Rhiannon is left dragonless? Should I tell her what happened?
A loud voice interrupts my thought spiral. “NO. I WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND. I WILL SPEAK TO FEIRGE ON YOUR FRIENDS BEHALF.”
Thank you, I reply and my mind is silent again.

After Presentation Day there isn’t much of a celebratory mood. Yes, we’ve all survived this far but we know that today was just the prequel. Now, after Threshing, that will be a celebration. Still, there is mulled wine to be passed and a lighter mood than I have seen in days at the table during the evening meal. I pick at my roasted meat and wonder if Craobh can hear my every thought. Oh Gods, what about sex? How does that work now? I shudder at the thought of Craobh entering my thoughts during the wrong moment, but he has been silent since putting me at ease about Rhiannon earlier. I have so many questions bouncing around about how all of this is going to work, and no one to turn to. There are definitely no dragon riders in my family, I’m incredibly envious of riders like Violet who have siblings with dragons.

     I tire quickly of pushing the food around my plate and drain my wine before deciding to retire to my room early. I did get up earlier than everyone else and hit the gym this morning afterall. I don’t make it very far down the hall towards the dorms before Garrick has caught up with me though, and this is a dangerous situation having just finished that wine far too fast.
I try to keep the slur out of my words, “Heading to bed?”
Garrick grunts and does one of his usual once over looks of me, “Are you drunk?”
I’m moderately offended at his insinuation that I could get drunk on a single cup of wine, “No. Are you?”
Garrick shakes his head and does this weird thing with his hand as we enter a narrow hallway filled with riders trying to make their way to the dining hall. I haven’t noticed it before but his hand, well it almost touches my side but leaves an inch of space, almost like he’s guiding me through the crowd without touching me.
“What’s with your magic hand there?” I ask, humor filling my voice.
Garrick snaps his hand back to his side, like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t have been. “ I was… making sure no one ran into you basically. But I don’t trust myself to touch you.”
“You don’t trust yourself to touch me? Garrick you were touching me pretty hard just a few hours ago.” I say with a roll of my eyes.
“And that was a mistake. A giant, massive mistake.” He quickens his pace until he is walking slightly in front of me now, though still in the direction of my room.
“Why… why do you say that?” I am honestly curious, though I agree, I would be heartbroken if Soren was led to believe there was anything more than friendship between Garrick and I. Though, if I am being honest, I am beginning to doubt how much Soren would actually care. Distance has not been good to my confidence in what we have and it feels like there is a little gnome inside me chiseling away at the statue that is Soren and I. At any moment it will come crumbling down.
“For about a million reasons, killer. Most of which I am not going to tell you tonight.” Garrick stops at my dorm room door before turning to face me.
“That implies you will tell me at least one reason tonight.” I respond by wiggling my eyebrows dramatically at him.
Garrick seems to think for a long moment before he finally speaks, “Because I’m scared that if I start I won’t be able to stop.”