Maidens & Killers

With All Of The Love In My Cold Heart

When I wake in the morning after a restless night's sleep, Garrick is really gone. I walk the halls of Basgaith for the next week in an absolute haze of disinterest and numbness. Being a second year cadet feels the same as being a first year, with the exception of the giant hole that I feel in my life from Garrick missing. That and the fact that I now attend Captain Grady's new class Rider Survival every other day. I throw myself into my studies and spend my evenings writing to Garrick, so that I will have a letter to give to Xaden for him. I find peace in staying up late, all alone, burning candle light writing all of my feelings down on paper.

The one thing that still brings me joy is flight practice. I feel free on the back of Craobh like I've never felt in my life before. That's where I find myself Saturday morning, high above the walls of Basgaith.
"I don't know what to do with my life, Craobh. I feel like I am just going through the motions." I whisper as we soar through the air.

I TOLD YOU RIDER, I'M NOT A THERAPIST. Craobh grumbles in response as he dives through a group of clouds.

"I don't need a therapist, I just need advice. What am I supposed to do now?" I ask him.

At first I don't get a response. WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU NEED TO FIND A NEW HOBBY. ONE THAT CAN BE DONE OUTSIDE OF THE BEDROOM, Craobh finally says.

"Craobh!!" I exclaim, shocked by his response. "First of all I have plenty of hobbies. I ..... I read! I .......fly...." I am at a loss for words.

Craobh chuckles for a moment before losing all of the laughter in his body and I feel him tightening up like a coil. Immediately I become alert, "What is it?"

Craobh is looking off in the distance and for a few minutes I see absolutely nothing where he is looking, but eventually I see a blur of burnt orange flash across the sky.
SOLAS! Craobh yells and flies in the direction of the orange blur.
I hang on tightly to my dragon's back, leaning forward against his neck to avoid the cool wind that whips around me. I have a healthy fear of Major Varish's dragon Solas since I watched him fry multiple first years after this year's Threshing. I try to quell down that fear and cling to Craobh as he zips through the clouds.

WHAT IS THAT ONE EYED BASTARD DOING UP HERE? Craobh wonders as he turns and circles the area we last saw Solas at.
I spot the large orange daggertail sitting on the top of a corner of the Basgaith walls that faces the flight field, partially hidden.
"What is he looking at?" I ask Craobh.

SGAEYL HAS JUST ARRIVED. COME, I WILL LET YOU SPEAK WITH RIORSON AND I WILL HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH SOLAS ABOUT HIS SPYING. Craobh tells me with plenty of menace in his voice.

We land on the flight field moments after Sgaeyl and Xaden, as my former wing leader is still unpacking his bags off of his dragon.
"Cadet Holsten." Xaden nods to me as I hop off of Craobh and head towards him.
"Hey, Solas is watching you from the wall up there. We thought you should know." I say with a shrug.
Xaden turns and glares up at the wall in question, "Major Varrish giving you guys a hard time?"
"I haven't had much interaction with him yet. I don't think I'm on his radar. You may need to ask Vi and Imogen about that." I tell him honestly.
"Good. Stay under his radar as much as you can. Once leadership finds out that you and Garrick got married you will be on the top of his shit list and that isn't somewhere you want to be." Xaden says as he opens up one of his bags and pulls out a stack of letters.
My heart jumps as I recognized the scratchy handwriting on the outside of the envelopes.

Xaden tosses me the large stack. "I'm sure that you have something for me to take back. I'll grab it from you before I leave, but I need to go see Bodhi." He turns and walks off towards the castle leaving me standing in the middle of the flight field, heart pounding and staring at the heavy stack of envelopes in my hand. It's only been a week, and I can't believe that Garrick has written to me so much. I had to beg Sorren for months to write me anything for me to bring to Basgaith.

The sun is shining so I make the decision to take my letters to the same area of the courtyard that just a few months ago Garrick and I had sat and talked about our families. I sit down and open the top letter, as it appears to be the first in a series of them.

Killer,
Leaving you this morning was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I questioned every decision that I have made that has led us here while flying to my new post. I always said that I would never have a close romantic interest because I didn't want to be my father and put them in danger. My mother was an innocent woman when she was murdered. All the way through the moment when the sword came down on her neck and her head rolled away, she didn't know what she was guilty of. I won't let that be you and I don't think you will let that be you. You are the furthest thing from a helpless maiden I have ever met. You will have all of the information and be informed of everything before you risk yourself. I miss you more than anything already. I am laying in a cold bed at my new post and I know that this bed will never know your warmth.

The letter goes on for another page and a half and cling to every single word of it. Garrick ends the letter

With All Of The Love In My Cold Heart,
Garrick

My first instinct is to stay right where I am and binge read every single letter that Garrick has written to me. But, the sun is beginning to go down and I need to find Xaden and give him my letters to Garrick before he leaves tomorrow. I get up off the ground and run to my dorm room. I gather the stack of letters I have written every night this week, and add one more quick note to the top of the stack.

Garrick,
Your letters have brought me more happiness than anything else in the last week. Please keep them coming.
I Love You,
Killer

I race from my room once again and try to find Xaden before he heads back to Samara, and back to my waiting husband.