Powerful Impact [a Roman Reigns story]

15 Forgive me

Roman POV

"Fuck!" I cursed loudly and punched the door with my hand.

Immediately my fist throbbed painfully, but that was nothing compared to the pain I felt inside.

Of course I knew that I had started this all wrong. But I hadn't expected her to react so strongly. All I wanted was for her and especially Clementine to have everything they needed. And I knew that I was the one who could give it to them.

Everything happened so damn fast that at first I didn't know how to tell her and then I thought she would be happy about it. Especially because I had discussed all possible scenarios with the lawyer. I had made sure we were all protected. 

Larissa and Clem deserved everything in this world. And I knew how much she was struggling. Part of me thought I was really doing the right thing. Even though a small part of me had probably always suspected it wouldn't go so smoothly.

I took the car keys, locked the door and then made my way to her apartment. We had to talk about it. It couldn't wait. And I certainly wasn't going to leave town without talking to her.

The drive didn't take long and I was now standing outside her door. I took a deep breath before knocking.

"Go away, Roman!" I heard Larissa's voice immediately.

"Larissa, please. Let's talk about it, baby girl," I replied.

"Don't baby girl me. And I don't want to talk to you right now. Go home." she said and I could hear that she was still fighting back tears.

I leaned my head against the door. I pressed my palm against it, almost as if I could touch her that way.

"Please open the door. I know you're mad at me and that's okay... but please don't push me away. I just want you and the baby to have everything you need. And I don't want you to ever be in a situation where it could be difficult. I will always be there for you. I want to take responsibility, Larissa." I replied gently.

"Not in that way. You lied to me. You made an important decision about my life without me," she said.

"I didn't lie... I just... I just didn't say anything yet. I realize I made a mistake. Please let me tell you that to your face... Let me show you how sorry I am." I replied.

"Which part are you sorry for?" she wanted to know.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. And that I made a decision without you. But I'm not sorry that I signed the birth certificate. Because I'm more of a father to Clem than he could ever be. Besides, I love you guys. I love you so much that I can't imagine my life without you in it. And I always want to be there for both of you, no matter what," I said.

"You've done this all wrong. Why didn't you talk to me? Why couldn't you wait and see how things were going between us? Maybe you could have adopted her in a year or two.... Why did you have to do it this way?" asked Larissa.

"Did you miss the part where I said I love you? And love is sometimes not the best advisor... Yes, I admit I overstepped... Yes, I should have talked to you. And yes... I admit that I'm a cocky, egotistical guy. You can probably think of a few more insults... But still, I only wanted the best for you. You know he doesn't want that. He'll never feel the same way about you two as I do. You are worth so much to me. I would pay any amount in the world if it meant you both were happy and didn't lack for anything," I told her.

"And who are you to judge what's best for my daughter and me? Huh? You're right. You're a fucking presumptuous asshole and you had no right to make such a decision without me. 

It's best if you leave now. I need time to think about everything. I don't want to... see you anymore, Roman," I heard her say.

"I'm sorry, baby girl... I'm sorry. Please forgive me..." I said quietly, my head still against the door.

At that moment, the door opened. Larissa looked at me with a tear-stained face. Our eyes locked for a moment. Then she took my face between her hands.

"Do you forgive me?" I wanted to know as she stroked the skin under my eyes with her fingertips.

She nodded slightly and finally reached towards me. She pressed her lips forcefully against mine. Just as I was about to pull her closer to me, she pulled away from me again.

"How does it feel to have been lied to?" she asked and then slammed the door in my face.

*****

Larissa POV

Crying, I hurried away from the door and went into my bedroom. At that moment I was glad that Clem was such a good sleeper.

I threw myself on the bed and buried my face in the pillow. I kept trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. But I didn't succeed. It wasn't long before I knew why. The pillow still smelled of Roman.

I quickly got up and stripped the pillows and sheets off the bed. I went and stuffed everything into the washing machine before making the bed again. His scent was as unbearable as the sight of him at the moment.

I couldn't believe it hadn't even been 24 hours since we'd been in this room together. It had been such a roller-coaster.

He said he loved us. Not just me, but Clem too. My little Clem. Maybe he was right and he was the father she needed in her life, the father she deserved. But I knew it would take a lot for me to be able to forgive him.