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In the evening, I received a notification on our group chat.

Gang 🌸

Hwaaaa 🐸
So, San and Jongho, how was your first day back?

Jongho 📅
I already miss the holidays...

Jongho 📅
Nah it's cool though, we've already formed a little group with Hongjoong, Mingi and a guy we met.

Hwaaaa 🐸
That's cool :)

Hwaaaa 🐸
We should try to have lunch together some days

Sannie 🏴‍☠️
Send your schedules and we'll check if we have the same lunch breaks

I also sent ours, and we compared our schedules.

Hwaaaa 🐸
Only tuesdays match our schedules :/

Sannie 🏴‍☠️
Yeah let's reserve our tuesdays then!

Only Tuesdays... But I shouldn't worry, before the holidays Woo said it would be fine, that we would keep seeing each other... So it'll be fine. His smile comes to my mind and I trust him.

Jongho 📅
So are we eating together tmrw?

Hwaaaa 🐸
Yep!

Sannie 🏴‍☠️
By the way are you guys free this weekend for us to meet?

Hwaaaa 🐸
Yeah got nothing planned, i can invite you guys to my place

Wood 🪵
I can't this weekend

Sannie 🏴‍☠️
Fuck :(

In the end, except for Hwa, no one else is available. But that won't stop us from meetin, I'll spend Saturday afternoon at his place

___

The week passed slowly. As planned, we all had lunch together on Tuesday. It felt good to spend time with them even if it was rather short.

We didn't see each other the rest of the week, we only crossed paths once in the hallways. Still, we continued to chat in our group conversation.

Wood 🪵
Guys i'm participating in a singing contest go vote!!
📎 Link

Fox 2.0 🍗
Ooooh incr!

Wood 🪵
Send it to as many people as possible plsss!

Fox 2.0 🍗
Hahaha this guy's desperate

Wood 🪵
Definitly lol i'm so on edge

Sannie 🏴‍☠️
That's awesome Woo!!

Sannie 🏴‍☠️
I sent it to 12 people

Sannie 🏴‍☠️
Even to my grandma's dog

Wood 🪵
Lmaaao thx i love you

Sannie 🏴‍☠️
I knooow i know

Wood 🪵
😂😂😂

Saturday arrived and I spent the afternoon at Seonghwa's. Just like last time at my place, we messed around and laughed all afternoon. It was really cool.

Then the following week arrived. And it passed slowly. The week after that arrived. And it passed slowly. That Tuesday, the guys didn't send a message for us to have lunch together. So I didn't send one either.

The more weeks go by, the less we send messages in the group chat.

I feel like they're living their lives without Jongho and I in their new class. It seems like they've reunited with their trio from middle school and don't need me anymore. Like Wooyoung doesn't need me anymore.

It feels like I've lost all my significance. I feel bad. I'm angry. The more the days go by, the sadder I feel. I miss Wooyoung. Like hell.

Did I really make the right choice going into the science track? I don't even know what I wanna do in the future. I chose Science because I have the ability and it opens more doors for me. But should I change and go into Literature? It's still time...

The more the days pass, the more I start to doubt. Should I go into Literature? I'd be in the same class as them. But what am I going to do with my life? I'll sing. I'll dance. With Wooyoung. We'll form a duo and we'll stay together for the rest of our lives.

Yeah, that's what I want. But does he want that too? I think he doesn't care about me anymore. I think I'm daydreaming in vain.

One Tuesday, the guys invited Jongho and me to have lunch with them, they were planning to go to a noodle restaurant. We agreed, all happy to see them again.

We ate laughing as we did before, as if nothing had changed. But everything had changed. Behind my smile, I feel bad. Because I know that in an hour, it will all be over again. And I'll spend the rest of my days wondering when I'll have another moment with them. With Wooyoung.

I have a bitter taste in my mouth. The more the days go by, the less I talk to Woo. He doesn't message me anymore. So, I don't message him either.

Is this really how it's gonna end? Before it even had the chance to truly begin?

I spend my school days with Jongho, Hongjoong, Mingi and Yunho. We have fun, we laugh a lot. But I always have this bitter taste that comes up every time I laugh. "I'd rather be laughing with Wooyoung."

It comes up every time I sit down to eat and spoils my appetite.

But slowly, this bitter feeling fades away. With every smile I make, it leaves a little more. With every laugh the guys make me burst into, my discomfort slightly fades.

And finally, after a month, the guys managed to make me forget about Seonghwa, Yeosang and Wooyoung.

It ended as suddenly as it began. I wasn't ready for it to end like this. I wasn't ready for it to end at all.

But today, I've come to terms with it. I leave all of that in the past. I even learned that Wooyoung started dating a girl he met on Instagram. I guess I've been delusional all that time. But it doesn't matter, I've turned the page now.

I feel really good with my new group of friends. I feel really good with Jongho, Hongjoong, Yunho and Mingi.

I thank them for restoring sincerity to my laughter.

Conclusion of Chapter 19: San sent the link to his grandma's dog.

▻✧◅

There you go, sorry if I brought down the mood... 😭😭

Actually, it's the first time i've taken such a sad turn in my stories, i usually make things go rather well

I hope the conclusion at least lightened the atmosphere a bit...? 🫠

Get ready for the next chapter, you're not ready for it!!

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