Our Time Will Come ~ 𝒲𝑜𝑜𝓈𝒶𝓃

- 46 -

I woke up on this Sunday morning, feeling more rested than the day before. I kept my eyes closed for long minutes, recalling my dreams, drifting back into half-slumber.

Wooyoung is constantly on my mind. With closed eyes, immersed in darkness, I can't help but relive our intimate carnal night. I can still feel the warmth of his body against mine. I can still hear him whisper my name.

When will I get over it?

I decided to interrupt my reverie and grabbed my phone. Oh, Woo sent me a message during the night?

young_woo
Alright San, what did last night mean...??

_sannie
Well, for me it's pretty clear... but i can't really figure out what you feel about it

I lock my phone and let my hand fall on my mattress, waiting for his response. I don't know why but I suddenly feel jittery. I sense a slight knot forming in the pit of my stomach. I start to doubt.

I'm a little scared. A little scared that he doesn't share my feelings. Also a little scared that he does and we start a relationship. I'm afraid he'll abandon me again... Like he did by the past.

Like Hyunjin did...

I'm afraid he has nothing serious to offer me. But I'm not even sure I'm looking for something serious. I'm afraid I'm not ready to reopen my heart to someone, not ready to offer him what he's looking for.

I'm afraid I won't measure up...

But on the other hand, I can't fight it. My attraction to him makes me want more. I feel perfectly fine when I'm with him and it's always been the case. It's been like that since day one.

Slowly, the knot in my stomach unravels. Wooyoung makes me want it, he keeps me alive. I'm addicted to the effect he has on me.

Holy crap, he just replied.

young_woo
How about we meet up this afternoon to talk about it face to face?

Oh shit, that completely freaks me out. I'll be much more embarrassed to talk about it face to face... But well, it will be clearer. And I wanna see him... I need him to reassure me with a hug. To chase away my doubts and fears with a smile.

_sannie
Okay, meet in town?

young_woo
Yes

The morning passed slowly. I'm slightly stressed, I feel like a teenager who arranged to meet his crush to confess behind the school toilets.

The hours went by and it's finally time for me to go meet Wooyoung. We agreed to meet in a small park. So I got into my car and headed in his direction. Once there, I sat on a bench waiting for Woo to arrive.

It's a beautiful day today, the shade of a tree protects me from the hot sun rays. A fresh breeze blows and stirs my hair.

WY: Sannie!

S: Heey!

WY: How are you? Have you recovered from last night? - he asks sitting next to me.

S: Yeah it's good, yesterday I thought I was gonna die though - I reply chuckling nervously.

I think it's the first time I'm stressed in his presence. It feels weird, I wonder if he's also stressed.

WY: Well, as long as you're okay now - he smiles.

There's a slight silence. It's really strange now. I don't know how to approach the subject, I think he doesn't either.

WY: So, uh... - he searches for his words. He's definitely as stressed as I am. What happened the other night, I don't regret it at all. But I admit I still can't quite understand what I feel for you... - he says fidgeting with his fingers, his gaze fixed on his hands.

S: Yeah I see, good you don't regret it though - I say laughing nervously. So, if I understood correctly, I attract you but you're not sure if you'd be ready for something with me?

WY: Yeah, something like that... - I feel he's afraid of saying something that would hurt me. He's aware that my breakup left wounds that haven't fully healed yet. And you...? Do you have feelings for me?

S: Mh... Honestly, yes. But I'm not sure either if I'm ready to go through a love story again... - I say looking at my hands too.

I turn my head very slightly to look at Woo's face. He still has his head down but I can sense a slight smile forming on his lips.

WY: To be honest San, lately I think about you all the time. I always wanna be with you, to laugh with you. I wanna be close to you and kiss you.

My heart skips a beat, my breathing quickens, but I try not to show it.

S: Isn't that love?

WY: Yeah, probably, but I don't know...

S: Is it because I'm a guy?

WY: There's probably a bit of that, but deep down I don't care. I mostly think that I'm not ready yet to go through a love story again.

I let a little moment of silence pass, thinking about all this.

S: We don't have to stress about it. We don't have to go through a love story, at least for now. Let's just continue spending time together and see how it evolves?

He finally looks up at me and smiles.

WY: Yeah, that's good. Let's continue without asking questions.

I smile back, I feel lighter. The tension between us has dissipated.

WY: How about a movie?

S: Sounds good!

We chose a screening and set off for the cinema. We spent the rest of the afternoon together, having a great time although I think we were a bit reserved, perhaps still a bit embarrassed by our confessions. But I'm sure it will go back to normal. I can't wait to see him again.

Conclusion of Chapter 46: San feels like a teenager who arranged to meet his crush to confess behind the school toilets.

▻✧◅

Love can be so beautiful 🥲

I miss being in love a bit