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S : Mmh... - I let out unintentionally, clearly exposing my frustration and not going unnoticed.

SH: Ah, someone's jealous.

S: Nah, I'm not jealous but who's gonna give me a hug now?

WY: Oh damn, and the other day I told you I would always be there to give you one so you could forget about Hyunjin's.

SH: Alright, are you guys a couple or how does that work? Kiss each other already.

WY: Nah nothing weird, it's just a comforting hug.

S: An unambiguous hug. It's just that I really needed a hug.

YS: Alright, if you guys want, Seonghwa and Woo switch places.

S: Oh yes - I exclaimed like a child making Woo laugh.

YS: But no dirty stuff, right?

JH: If I find out anything happened next to me I'll kill you.

WY: Nah, jokes aside, really nothing's gonna happen you guys're crazy.

JH: Okay, okay. That's fine then.

Wooyoung settled in Seonghwa's place next to me. We pushed the mattresses together and Wooyoung took me into his arms as Yeo turned off the light.

There, I instantly feel good. His arms have become my safe place. I fall asleep thinking of nothing but clouds, the gentle sun, the fresh grass and the slow waves that his body evokes. I fall asleep and the cool wind guides me to the land of dreams.

It feels like I love Wooyoung again. Like I can't fight it. It feels like I can't feel anything else for him but a guenuine and deep love.

He makes me feel good so effortlessly. I'd like to spend my days with him. Tonight, I dream of Wooyoung. I dream that I love him again. I dream that he embraces my soul so deeply with his hug. I can't tell if it's real or not. But one thing is certain. My heart has rarely beaten so hard.

___

I feel fingers gently caressing my head, intertwining in my hair. It's a pleasant wake-up. Is it Hyunjin?

I slowly open my eyes. Oh no, I'm silly. I smile tenderly realizing it's Wooyoung. He has his eyes closed, head turned towards me.

S: Woo? - I whisper to make sure he's awake.

WY: Mh? - he lets out softly.

S: Did you sleep well?

WY: Yes. But you talk in your sleep, San.

S: Damn yeah that happens. What did I say?

WY: Don't know, I didn't understand anything. But it was something like "Cwress my haiww" so I started petting your head. Sorry if it woke you up.

I let out a gentle laugh trying not to make too much noise.

S: Don't worry, it's a sweet wake-up. I love it.

WY: Good then.

I closed my eyes again to enjoy his scratches in my hair. I've got a foggy head, I wanna sleep until tomorrow. The last night was intense.

Wooyoung and I stayed like that, resting without managing to fall back asleep until the guys woke up.

YS: I'm exhausted.

SH: We shouldn't have drunk so much.

S: Yeah but it's okay, it's vacation.

SH: By the way San, you talked in the night.

S: Aww, what did I say again?

SH: I think it was like "Pass me the knife lil jerk" - he said laughing. I almost burst out laughing in the middle of the night.

S: Whaaat??

WY: Oh wow, I think I won't sleep with you anymore San-ah, huh - he joked.

YS: He's gonna sleep at the asylum actually!

S: But dreams are not reality!

JH: Good thing cause I dreamed there was an avalanche and Wooyoung got buried so San and Yeo turned into Saint Bernards, those dogs to find Woo.

We all burst out laughing at Jongho's story.

YS: Bro, you're the one going to the asylum!!

S: Are we dogs to you??

WY: Why am I the one getting buried!?

SH: Great, I'm not even in the dream...

JH: Yes you are, after San and Yeo sniffed out Woo we pulled him out of the snow but it turned out to be you - he said laughing.

S: I love dreams.

We got up slowly, laughing and talking about anything and everything. We had a little breakfast and as the morning was ending we all went back home agreeing to see each other in the coming days.

Returning home, I sat at the table with my parents. My mother had just finished preparing lunch. It feels really good to be back home. To chat with your parents over the good meal your mother cooked. To see your friends, some of whom you haven't seen for so long. To sleep in the room you grew up in tenderly.

I started to suffocate in Seoul. Without Hyunjin, alone in this new apartment. Even though I was starting to get used to my new life and to feel good again, it feels good to come home and find all my landmarks.

Once at the table, I lay down on the couch, exhausted from the night before.

Lying there I closed my eyes and my dream from last night came back to me. I dreamt of Wooyoung. Surprising, huh?

I dreamt that I was in love with him stronger than the universe could imagine. That night, asleep in his arms, I felt the inside of my being vibrating in harmony with my heartbeat. And in my dream, my heart didn't beat for me, it didn't beat to keep me alive. It beat for Wooyoung.

If someone asked me "What is love?" I would tell them it's what I felt that night.

It's crazy how powerful emotions can be when you dream. I think I had never felt anything so strong. And now that I'm conscious and awake, I would give anything to experience that again. To feel that again.

My heart doesn't beat as strongly as it did that night. My being doesn't vibrate for Wooyoung. But even if my emotions aren't as strong as in my dream, I think I can say that I'm in love with him again.

I'm in love with Wooyoung again.

Conclusion of Chapter 40: San loves dreams.

▻✧◅

So do i.

Have you ever experienced that? Dreaming that you're in love? Like really, dreaming that you're in love and in your dream you feel the emotions x1000

I have and that's what I tried to convey in these last paragraphs

🌙✨

(but you also feel so bad when you wake up bc you realize it was just a dream 🥲)

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