One Of Your Girls// Gojo Satoru × y/n

18. "Moving on"

I turn to look at him, sitting on one of the seats with his legs crossed, and he'd piled up his supplies and books on the table as he was preparing the materials.

His white oversized sweater was hanging down his shoulder as he was leaning while writing.
My eyes trace his collarbone.

I take a deep breathe.

My God. I'm so down bad for him.

"Sure has been long" I say.

And whose fault was that?

He doesn't say anything, and just gets on with his work,and it kills me from inside.
How on earth is he able to stay quiet after all this time?

I have so many damn things to say, and so many questions to ask.

But I can't get myself to say anything.
Because, upon seeing his reaction, I doubt it'd even matter.

He looks up at me.
"Come, take a seat" he says, gesturing beside him.
I walk towards him, slowly, still in awe by how nonchalant he seemed.

I sit beside him, gazing at his face.

He seemed so calm, stoic, and at peace.

And here, I wanted to scream and die.

"So, did you manage to write down some points by today? If not Damian is gonna be all bossy again" he says, smiling to himself.

But I can't reciprocate the action.
I can't pretend like everything is normal.

I can't pretend like thinking about him hasn't kept me up at nights.

I can't pretend like everything that has happened doesn't haunt me.

He looks at me, and as if he was completely oblivious to everything, asks "what's wrong?"

I can't tell if he's playing dumb or if he genuinely doesn't know what's wrong.

"Are you seriously gonna act like everything is normal? Like nothing has changed?" I say, before I could stop myself.
His expression changes.

"Y/n, it's no-" he stops as the loud laughter from the other teammates echoed throughout the classroom.

I sigh, thinking it was wrong for me to expect anything.

I could feel his restlessness for the rest of the class.

We all began working on the project, and we gathered the entire material together.

We decided to meet up after the third class tomorrow to finally finish it so we could submit it early.

It feels so unfamiliar, having him be beside me in the same way as having a stranger beside you.

It just feels so...unnatural.

If this was the Satoru from 2 months ago, he would've been talking continuously, and irritating the fuck out of the other people.
He'd have asked me about random things, laughed at my lame jokes, and be the only one who even ever paid attention to the things I'd say.

But the Satoru beside me, was completely different. He didn't look into my eyes.
He had his glasses on.
He wasn't speaking to me.
He wasn't laughing with me.

And I started getting a gut wrenching feeling that-
I'd lost him. The little that I had of him, I lost it.

Oh, how I wish I could read his mind now, but of course it doesn't work for the ONE person whose mind I BADLY wanna read.

What does he think? What is he thinking? What was he thinking before?

I can't read his mind, I can't figure him out.