Love Letters to You [On Hold]

twenty four.

Entry #24
November 26th, 2034

"Cal, wake up," you ordered as your strong hand shook my body violently.

My eyes opened slowly and I tried to sit up straight, but a sharp pain ripped through my body. I was scared I wouldn't be able to stand up straight.

"Nate," I called out, "it still hurts."

You barely looked my way as you began to prepare yourself for arrival. "Yes, Cal, it's going to hurt for a little while. Just ignore it."

I frowned. "But why does it hurt?"

You sighed. "Because once upon a time, there was a lovely thing called lube that made this much easier. But since that's practically unheard of nowadays, we have to compensate while we can, right?"

I guess that made sense, but I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that you insisted on making love when you knew how much it hurt me.

"Train's arriving in five minutes. Get your stuff together."

I did as much as I could without complaining, because I knew if I mentioned anything about the pain, you'd get angry.

And I didn't want to face you when you were angry.

When the train arrived at the station, a loud alarm sounded through the intercom, alerting every one of its arrival. Almost simultaneously, everyone burst out of their individual rooms, like they were itching to escape, including us.

As we followed the swarm of people out of the train, you clutched onto my arm tightly, keeping me close to your body. "You remember what we rehearsed, right?"

I took a deep breath. "Yes. My name is Jacob Lane and your name is Otis Lane. We're brothers."

You shot your jade eyes to mine. "And what else?"

"We're h-here to visit f-family," I stammered.

You continued to gaze down at me in disapproval. "It's not going to be convincing if you stutter like that."

I looked down. "I'm s-sorry."

As soon as we exited the train, you released your grip on me and for a brief moment, I missed your touch. I knew for the duration of this trip, we would have to be extra careful about how we touch each other.

And as I'm writing this, I can't help but laugh. I guess it doesn't really matter if someone sees us touch each other inappropriately, because you'll just kill them like you do with everyone else that is in your way. Ha, silly me.

There was something unsettling about the north. It wasn't as pretty and quiet like the neighborhood I lived in. The moment we stepped off the train, I noticed the skies were a dark stormy grey, like it was the end of the world or something. In the far distance, I heard frightening explosions and pleading screams.

I looked to you for confirmation, but you continued to walk ahead of me, not seeming to be bothered by any of it. Which I guess made sense, too.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" I asked as soon as I caught up to you.

"What is it?"

"Before we came across that soldier in the woods, you seemed to be genuinely scared when your friends killed innocent people. You even puked on me. But now, you're not scared. Why?"

Your lips curled into a small smile. "It's called acting, Cal. You should try it sometime."

"Acting?" I questioned. Did that mean that most of our relationship was founded in lies? "Do you act, a lot?"

You shrugged. "When I need to."

I remained silent until we successfully passed security. A handful of people asked us what our names were and what our business was in the north, and we answered accordingly. I caught a glimpse of those who weren't deemed fit to go through security. I didn't know how the security guards decided whether or not they could continue, but I knew that nothing good would happen to them afterwards.

Minutes later, we were walking. I thought my hometown was bad, but this was even worse. The air was thick with the smell of dirty smoke. The streets were filled with debris from destroyed buildings, blood from dead people, and remains of what used to be a beautiful city.

We were walking for a really long time, and I wasn't sure if you had a destination in mind, so I asked, "Where are we going?"

"To find something we can fight with," you answered, short.

I knew you were getting annoyed with my questions, but I still had to ask them. "Why?"

You sighed. "Because we can't get close to the King if all of his guard dogs are protecting his castle, Cal. We need to eliminate them first, and then we'll get a better chance."

I frowned. "But-"

You snapped your hard gaze to mine. "But what, Cal? Stop asking questions and just follow me."

I never wanted to do any of this. Never would I have ever thought that my attractive next door neighbor would turn out to be a psychopath determined to kill everything in his way. I'm not sure if you know it or not, but I really care about you. I don't want you to ever put yourself in harm's way.

Which is why I had to voice my thoughts, "I don't want to lose you, Nate."

You looked at me then, like really looked at me, and it felt like you were actually seeing me for the first time. All the anger and frustration you were carrying aside had completely melted away and you looked like the Nate I fell in love with.

A touching smile curved your lips. "You're not going to lose me, Cal."