Love Letters to You [On Hold]

eight.

Entry #8
October 18th, 2034

Only a few things can make me happy.

1) Pizza for breakfast because that always seems to brighten my day.

2) Being able to talk to you, but maybe I should stop being so repetitive since you already knew that.

3) When my big brother Trent comes to visit.

Trent is such a fun person to be around. I think you'll like him. The only problem is he doesn't visit often because he's always so busy doing military work.

He was originally supposed to come back home after the war, but he never did. He said something about a glitch in the system, or a loop in the contract or something like that. Whatever it was, it prevented him from coming home.

But that's okay, because every time he does come home we try to spend every last moment together.

I spent the majority of my Saturday morning sitting on the sofa with my eyes glued to the door. My mother had to force me to get something to eat, but I refused to move because I wanted to be the first one to hug my brother as soon as he walked through the double doors.

When he finally did, you can bet that I ran towards him and threw my skinny arms around him in a warm, brotherly embrace.

He hugged me back. "Cal!" He nearly exclaimed as he patted my back.

When I pulled away from the hug, I still had my giant smile on my face. He was just as excited to see me based on the way his sea green eyes danced with excitement.

I've always been jealous of the way Trent looked. Most people who saw us would definitely know we were brothers because we shared the same green eyes, pale skin, and curly brown hair (but he cut his hair recently so I guess that's not really a similarity).

But everyone who knew us knew that he was the more attractive brother. He has the good looks. The flawless smile, the short dark hair, the bright entrancing eyes and to top that all off, he has facial hair!

That makes me so mad because no matter how hard I try, I can never grow facial hair. Dad says my time will come but I don't wanna wait any longer.

But putting all that aside, I was actually looking forward to Trent's visit. "How long you staying for?" It's always the first question I ask because I want to savor every moment with him.

"Just a day."

"A day?" I asked him. "That's not fair. I haven't seen you in two months."

Trent's response was only a shrug. "Don't make the rules, Cal. I just follow them. At least I was able to come back."

I knew I should've been grateful that he even decided to visit, but I just didn't want him to go back to his job. If I could stop him from killing innocent people, then I'd do anything in my power to try.

Trent began to unzip his armor, which consisted of a slim fitting, rubber, black body suit that just so happened to be bulletproof and highly resistant to electricity. He unbuckled his utility belt filled with a collection of assorted knives and placed his two electric high-tech guns (built to hit the target every single time) on the floor.

We talked a little after that, mainly about how we're doing in life and all that small talk that everyone does out of plain courtesy. Mom was more than excited about his visit that she made his favorite food - spaghetti. Dad didn't get to see him because he was too busy at work.

For most of his stay, I was completely ecstatic. He can always manage to cheer me up and make me forget about what's really going on in the world.

But when Trent came into my room late that night to say goodbye, it left me in such a sour mood that I couldn't fall asleep for hours.

"Hey, lil' bro," he greeted just as he knocked on my bedroom door.

When I saw that he was back in his body armor, I sat up in bed. "You're leaving so soon?"

He sighed. "When duty calls."

"Tell Sally I said hi," I told him with a smile. Trent never liked to talk about his girlfriend much because I know he hates that he left her alone with a baby she couldn't take care of. But he swears that he still keeps in touch with her.

Trent sucked in a heavy breath which was something he only did when he was holding back important information. "Cal..."

"What?" I perked up. "What is it?"

"I didn't want to tell you this, but Sally is dead." His face was blank when he said it. Completely void of emotion.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned. It just didn't make sense. "Sally's not a lesbian. She has the baby to prove that."

"I know," he said calmly. "She was keeping someone else's secret and I had to put an end to her."

You can imagine how shocked I was. Trent loved Sally, of course he did. They were inseparable. I couldn't believe that he'd actually kill his own girlfriend. "What! Why would you -What about your baby?"

He didn't answer my question. Well not directly. "I had to kill her, Cal. It's my job."

My throat went dry. "How long has she been..."

"Awhile."

There was nothing left to say after that. Before my brother joined the military, he hated the idea of killing innocent people as much as I did. How could he ever find the stength to kill someone he loved? How could he kill an unborn baby?

Maybe I should've left it that. I shouldn't have bothered to say anymore, but my curiosity has gotten the best of me lately.

"How can you?" I asked. "How can you kill people who haven't done anything wrong?"

His green eyes grew dark. "They've broken the law, Cal. You know that."

"So what? It's not your job to decide who dies and who lives!"

"It is!" He snapped back in a loud uproar. "Why are you getting on the defensive side? Are you one of them too?"

There was a time when I thought I could trust Trent with all my secrets. But it was clear I couldn't trust my own brother. "Would you kill me too?"

Trent pressed his lips together and gained a tighter grip on his gun. "If it ever came down to it..." He took one last look at my room before he slowly backed out of the doorway. "...yes."

And that was enough to make me cry myself to sleep, Nate.

My own brother would kill me if he knew I had feelings for you.

That's why I need to stop.