It's been a little over a year since Leilani has been missing, will the family give up hope or will they focus and find her with everything going on in their personal lives?
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Èire Friday July 21,
There once was a time I blamed myself for what was wrong (I can see so clearly now because you are gone) That's how I spent all my time when you weren't home (Playing around with them raggedy heifers) There'll be no more stressing, no more crying, no more trying I would rather be alone (I'd rather be all by myself, yeah) Because this valuable heart of mine was yours until I realized Finally opened my eyes
"You see ladies?...I know I knew better ...what was I thinking?... he gon miss me when I'm gone on my mother!" I yelled hitting the bed.
It's been a few days since the break up and I've only cried twice. I'm more so angry if anything because it's like how are you walking away from me when I'm literally the only one who be in your corner! All the times I could've walked away but I chose to stay when everything in me was telling me to leave but I couldn't do him like that because I loved him to much but for him to easily just walk away from me and not chose me ..yeah that was a slap in the face for sure !
Ana was taking too long to come to me so I ended up ubering to a hotel once I realized Justin was just trying to be in my face. No one knows what hotel I'm at I just told Ana I wanted to be by myself for a second to understand what I'm feeling and just figure me out.
I would be lying if I I said I wasn't hurt by the break up because I am, but the more I sit with it the more it turn into anger. I don went on maybe six rampages punching and knocking over any and everything I could touch. I'm surprised I didn't get kicked out yet because housekeeping had to come up four times.
I stretched in bed before lazily rolling out of bed going into the bathroom. I relieved my bladder before going over to the sink washing my hands. I took a second staring at myself in the mirror, I wrapped my arms around myself hugging myself.
"I am beautiful...I am powerful.. I am enough...I forgive myself for all the things I should've done but didn't.... I am respected..I am Seen and Heard...I am Èire'asiajah Ja'aria Esteves the one and only who is a force to be reckoned with who love" I said kissing my shoulder after I held myself for a while. I stood smiling in the mirror for a bit longer reassuring myself.
Ring Ring Ring
Ring Ring Ring
I looked over at the nightstand while still in the bathroom trynna see the picture that displayed. After it rang it rang again making me slowly walk to it but once I seen it was my dad I leaped over the bed to grab it.
