Too Far Gone (Don't Save Me Book 4)

Chapter 26: For Both of You

"Not used to what?"

"Having a parent who stayed... who cared."

He nodded in understanding. "Your uncle was a fool and he should've suffered for what he did to you." His eyes flashed with anger as he spoke, his voice sending an icy chill down my spine, yet I somehow found his words comforting. "Now," he began, quickly changing the subject as he clasped his hands together. "Onto the matter of your training."

"My training?"

"Yes. Lucius had agreed to assist you in the control of your abilities but he got himself locked up. I'd hoped he would be able to perform this task as he seems to have experience in dealing with this sort of thing, however he is now unable to be here. I am hoping to have him out of Azkaban by the end of the school year. In the meantime Bella and Narcissa will be taking over your training."

I nodded.

"They will work with you over the summer."

Once again I nodded, unsure what more there was to say.

We finished the meal and Narcissa seemed eager to show me something as she led Severus and I into the hall. She stopped at a door, her smile wide as she pushed open the door.

"It's for both of you... while you're here."

I stepped into the room and my mouth fell open in awe. There was a large bed with black sheets and green pillows. The walls were lined with bookshelves and several small plants adorned the shelves. My fingertips ran along the bookshelves as several book titles caught my attention, classics from long ago. 1984 and Animal Farm. I smiled to myself as I remembered finding Severus reading Animal Farm all those years ago.

"We wanted you to have somewhere to call home... especially now that Wormtail's been living with Severus," Narcissa said and I turned to face her.

"It's beautiful, Cissy. Thank you."

She smiled and I turned to Severus, his eyes watching me carefully. He walked toward me, taking my hands in his. "Are you happy, darling?"

"That's a strange question, Sev," I chuckled as he moved his hands to my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his. He smiled against my lips, kissing me softly before pulling away.

"But truly... are you?"

I nodded. "Of course I'm happy, Sev. I have everything I could possibly want."

He smiled softly, kissing my forehead before turning to thank Narcissa. She nodded and began to leave the room but Bella turned to face us.

"Remember to use a silencing charm!"

"Bella!" I shrieked. Narcissa smacked her sister on the arm and dragged her out of the room, her laughter slowly fading down the hallway.

"Muffliato," Severus said as he waved his wand. I looked at him curiously and his eyes widened. "Not like that... I just... I thought we could talk... I would never assume..." He stuttered as he tried to explain and I shook my head, chuckling.

"You're cute when you're flustered."

"We've been over this, darling. I am... by no means... cute." His voice was low as he spoke, his lips brushing my ear.

"You keep using that voice with me, Sev, and we'll end up in bed."

He chuckled softly, sighing as he pulled away. "Are you sure you know what you're doing, my love... coming here? Becoming a part of... this?"

I nodded. "Yes, Sev. I know what I'm doing."

He nodded but I could see there was more.

"There's something you're not telling me, Sev... what aren't you saying?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a step back, pacing the room. "I fear... I fear the Dark Lord will indeed punish Draco... he's been speaking about a mission for the boy, but he has not said what. It seems quite the coincidence that he would be considering giving the boy a mission just days after his father failed his mission and was sent to Azkaban."

"You think he's going to give him a mission he can't handle."

"I fear he's going to give Draco a mission the Dark Lord himself couldn't handle."

"I don't understand... what sort of mission would..." I trailed off as my mind ran through several possibilities, each one more horrifying than the next. What sort of mission could he possibly be giving Draco?

"Sev... do you know what this mission is?"

"Not for certain... but I have my suspicions... as does Albus. I suppose we won't know for certain until he assigns Draco the task." He paused for a moment, finally turning to face me. "Darling... you look exhausted."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." He walked over to me, taking my hand. "Darling... look at me." He gently lifted my chin. "Talk to me... please."

"It's just... I've only ever seen the good side of him... he's only ever been kind to me. I don't.." I trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"You're referring to your father?"

I nodded and he gently rubbed my cheek with his thumb as he waited for me to continue.

"I'm aware of who he is... of what he is... but why have I never seen that side of him?"

He sighed, titling his head as he searched my eyes. "You're asking the very same questions Albus and I were asking just days ago. Why is it that the darkest wizard of our time has a soft spot for you?"

"And... what answer did you come up with?"

"Love."

I scoffed, pulling away from him. "That's absurd. He cannot love."

"Darling, he was reborn with your blood. How could he not love you? How could anyone who meets you not love you?"

"He can't love, Severus... He's incapable of that emotion." I looked at him curiously. "Why are you defending him?"

"I'm not, darling. I'm simply trying to help you understand that it's okay for you to be confused."

"I'm not confused," I hissed. "I know who I am! I know what I'm supposed to do!"

His brows furrowed as he looked at me curiously. I paced the room and he approached me cautiously, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Darling... please talk to me. What's going on? Has something happened?"

I turned to face him, his eyes filled with love, and I instantly felt guilty. I shook my head, plastering on a smile. "Everything's fine."

"No, darling. Don't do that."

"What?"

"That, my love. It's the same face you used to make when you were lying about what happened during the summers... it's the same face you made when someone was getting too close."

I sighed, knowing there was no point in lying. "Can you just trust that there are some things that I can't tell you?... Things that I'm just... not ready to tell you yet?"

He smiled softly. "As long as you promise me that you will talk to me in time... as long as you promise it's nothing dangerous and that you're not in any trouble."

I smiled. "No, I'm not in any trouble... not yet. No one knows about this so for the time being... I'd like to keep it that way. Just trust me... please?"

He nodded and kissed my forehead. "What can I do? What do you need?"

"Just hold me... just for a moment can we pretend everything is normal?"

He nodded, leading me to the bed and laying down next to me, wrapping his arms around me. "I love you, darling... please know that everything I do... everything I will ever do... is only to help you and keep you safe."

I smiled, burrowing myself closer to him. "I know, Sev."

The truth was... I did not know. I did not know how far he was willing to go and I was soon to learn just how far I would have to go. For it truly does all end with me.