Too Far Gone (Don't Save Me Book 4)

Chapter 44: The Full Moon

I disapparated with them, bringing them to my old house, quickly putting up protective charms around the place after borrowing Molly's wand.

"The old tenants moved out and no one's moved in yet so it's just sort of vacant for now. I still had the old key."

"You're sure no one will be coming here?" Molly asked, looking around nervously.

I nodded. "No one knows about this place. As far as anyone else is concerned I sold it when I moved in with Severus and as far as the Death Eaters are concerned I've been living with the Order."

She nodded, seeming relieved with this news as I led them inside and locked the door behind us.

"This will do for now. There's a few extra bedrooms upstairs but some of us will have to share rooms for the time being."

Molly and Arthur chuckled. "No different than at the Burrow," she said, smiling. "This place seems even larger. It's a lovely home."

I smiled and she entered the kitchen, gasping. "It's beautiful!" She quickly began conjuring ingredients for tea, ordering Tonks and I to sit. She placed a cup of tea in front of each of us. We thanked her and she nodded before leaving the room.

"So..." Tonks chuckled, breaking the silence in the room.

"Let's just cut to the chase... and try to avoid all this... awkwardness."

She nodded, sighing in relief. "That would be lovely." She paused for a moment before continuing. "I guess I'm just... trying to understand what happened out there."

"For what it's worth... so is he."

"Were you guys ever..."

"No!" I chuckled. "Let's clear that up right now because seriously if you say something like that in front of Severus or... bloody-hell... if you said that in front of Sirius, all hell would break loose."

She laughed. "Right, okay. So, not a thing but he's definitely protective of you... I just... I wasn't sure how to help him."

"None of us knew what to do, Tonks, so you weren't alone there."

She smiled softly as I continued.

"I've never seen that side of him before, though I haven't exactly been around him that close to a full moon either... so the very fact that he lets you be near him shows he trusts you a lot."

Her cheeks flushed and I chuckled. "Alright I won't embarrass you any further. The point is Remus and I have been friends for a long time and in that moment... I think he saw me as that scared little girl again."

A flash of recognition crossed her face. "The Daily Prophet... all the things it said... Remus knew you then, didn't he?"

"He did... and based on what I saw today... I think there's a part of him that blames himself for what happened but none of it was his fault and I will be talking to him when he's more himself. When I saw his eyes change... I looked into his mind. I'm not proud of it but I was simply trying to help him... and when I did I saw myself. I was 15 again, sitting next to Severus, explaining to Remus and the others what had happened to me. I could feel his rage in that moment but also his pain. He was angry that I'd hidden the truth from him but hurt that he couldn't do anything to stop it. I never realized how helpless he felt in that moment."

"So what we just saw... that was the wolf part of his brain trying to protect you... trying to make up for his past?"

I nodded. "When you approached him... he couldn't see past trying to take away my pain. He didn't realize it was only you and that you would never do anything to hurt either of us."

She sighed. "He probably hates me right now."

I shook my head. "No, Tonks... he hates himself... and he could use you by his side. I think this cycle is going to be more difficult than normal for him."

"I-I should probably get back to him!" She abruptly stood up and hugged me, whispering, "Thank you, Y/n. Thank you for helping me understand."

"Anytime." I smiled. "You both deserve to be happy. Now go and take care of Moony."

She smiled and disapparated. I smiled, knowing that Remus would be okay and in safe hands this cycle and for the rest of his life.