𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕚𝕥 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕤 | gojo satoru x reader

26: "It's About Me."

"How do you feel?"

"Similar to a car in a baling press."

"Interesting."

"Mm."

". . . I'll be real, I'm gonna need a bit more than that."

You sighed, back pressed up against the wall as you peered around the corner, watching with the feeling of pure guilt as Nanami awkwardly stood there holding your flowers, looking out to the river and seeming more tense than usual. Whispering into the phone, you said, "Fuck, I don't know."

"Well how did the kiss make you feel?"

You squinted your eyes as you threw your hand up with attitude at the question, knowing Ayato couldn't see you. "Wha— I— Like— EHHHH—"

"Is your heart leaping or sinking?"

"Girl, what the fuck."

"Do you feel guilty?"

You paused, taking a deep breath in as you peered around the corner again. Nanami was  now looking down at his feet, clearly having nothing better to do. You sighed as you leaned your head back against the wall. "Yeah."

"No."

You blinked, staring blankly. "Sorry?"

"Do you feel guilty for the kiss? That's what I mean. Not if you feel guilty from walking away from Nanami afterward; anyone would feel bad after such a thing. When he kissed you, did you feel guilty?"

What kind of question was that?

You frowned, trying to think back. There was a lot of shock, given that you hadn't expected Nanami to be the kind of person to just kiss you outright like that without any warning or confirmation.

You weren't sure if you felt guilty. When you said so to Ayato, he hummed in response. "So you need to go further with him."

"Ex-fucking-scuse me?"

"Not like that." Ayato sighed, "Because even if you don't know what's happening, I think I do. But what you need to do is continue. . . Doing whatever you were doing with Nanami. Keep going out with him."

You could see the fruity hand wave at the 'whatever'.

The idea gave you the feeling of extreme guilt. "Are you sure?"

"That. Right there." Ayato said, his voice raising in volume just a little as he sensed the tone from you. "What are you feeling?"

"I feel bad, Ayato."

"Why?"

"Because. . ." you sighed, running a hand over your face. "Because I don't want to waste his time? I don't know."

"Why would you be wasting his time?"

"Because—" you sighed in frustration now. "I don't know!" A couple of people looked at you as you raised your voiced, and you raised a hand in a silent apology before whispering to Ayato through the phone, "I don't like him like that. I've only been attracted to him. But he seems to really like me. I feel guilty for wasting his time."

"So what makes you think that attraction can't turn to love?"

That was a really specific topic that would take you way too long to unpack, given that you didn't even know the answer yourself yet. You never were attracted to Gojo before you fell for him. You always knew he was a handsome person, but there was a difference between knowing someone was handsome and then being attracted to them for said handsomeness. Gojo's looks wasn't what attracted you, because to put it simply enough: you used to think he was an arrogant fart for it.