My Little Miss Lawyer |BTS JIMIN FF|

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JIMIN POV

I heard her come in and I hoped she would leave, but of course she wouldn't. Instead she kidnapped my room and waited for me, staring down at the same damn wall as always, smiling at god knows what. 

I know why she was here. This is pretty much all we talked about for days now. Us. And she started it off by giving me a gift for no reason whatsoever, and it's possibly the most expensive camera you could get. But I was honestly happier about her hugging me. One last time.

'I love you, Jimin.'

The three little words that hold the universe of meaning passed her lips, adding my name to them like it's meant to be there. I've seen her happy and sad and angry. I've seen her in every possible mood, but I've never seen her looking like this.

The way she was looking at me could melt an iceberg. Her eyes looked like they held a million of tiny, sparkly stars in them. Her smile alone could light up a black void. And the way she sounded so relieved made me want to scream myself to death. I know she has been holding that back. I was too. And I have to keep doing it.

'Shinae, I don't love you.'

The biggest, fattest lie I've ever said in my entire life. And I said to the only person I never wanted to lie to.

I watched as her heart slowly sunk and crumbled with each lie that left my mouth. She changed from heartbreak, to dibelief, to anger and ended up completely broken, even begging me to tell her that it's not true, and all I could do was keep the facade behind which I was falling apart more than herself. I couldn't even breathe properly. 

I was holding on. I locked the emotions behind a door in my mind that kept violently shaking, getting constantly slammed into to bust open, and I kept adding metal bars in front of it to keep it closed. Just a little longer. And it all almost crumbled when she said that she is going to marry someone else. And she did it as a part of a deal. She did it to help me.

Not only am I losing her, but now I will have to watch her marry someone else.

'I never should have fallen in love with you!!! Now I know that I'll never love anyone again. I'm not making this mistake again. Goodbye, Jimin.'

Those words of hers went straight to my heart and I am happy she left as soon as she said them, because I completely lost it. Those door I nailed closed burst wide open, and everything rushed out.

I felt dizzy because I couldn't breathe. And I couldn't breathe because I couldn't stop crying. And I couldn't stop crying because I just broke her heart, and my own. 

I won the trial, but I lost the only thing I really want. Her. And it was not worth it in the slightest.

I smashed half of my room in a fit of sadness and anger. I only stopped when I almost threw the camera she just gave me and smashed it against the wall.

I sat down by the bed and hugged it close to my chest, murmuring her name like a lunatic.

'I love you.'
'I'm sorry... I love you...'

All I want is for her to be happy. Even if I can't be a part of her life. And he made sure that I can never be.

FLASHBACK

'She's taking a while.' Taheyung commented as he kept looking at his watch

I have had enough of the court for 10 lifes. A few hours and I hated it. And I hate this damn suit. So friggin tight. And hot.

'If I sat down for 8 hours, I can wait for about 20.'

'The power of love is pushing you.' Jungkook was being his usual little shit, batting his eyes at me like a disney princess, which only made me and Taehyung laugh