Sojourn : mahabharata's era

CHAPTER 15 : Tushti

The lightning and thunder showed no signs of ceasing, as if a deluge was imminent. The surroundings were saturated with water, accompanied by the chorus of forest crickets. The presence of wild creatures such as snakes, jackals, and foxes became a regular occurrence. Sleeping on the damp mattress and flooring became increasingly uncomfortable, leaving me feeling lethargic and irritated.

I twisted and turned around on the mattress, unable to sleep. When i saw a shadow crossing by, an overwhelming sense of fear gripped me, and I attempted to awaken Tushti, who was sleeping next to me, only to find her missing. Her blanket remained behind. The surroundings were dim and mysterious, evoking a strange sensation in my stomach, while my eyes struggled to stay open.

Where is tushti-? In this weather.

I stood up from the bed, pondering over what I had just witnessed. The figure I caught a glimpse of was indistinct, but it seemed to be that of a girl in a hurry. I could hear the faint sound of anklets jingling as she moved away from the tent. Taking a deep breath, I snapped out of my daze and realized I needed to follow her. It could have been Tushti, and I was determined to uncover the truth about why she was here.

The ashram was engulfed in darkness, completely abandoned. The lanterns had long been extinguished. The chilly breeze brushed against my face as I wrapped myself in a shawl and made my way towards the lake, where I caught a glimpse of her running. I pursued the faint sound of her anklets.

I observed her arrival at the lake's shore, while I concealed myself behind a nearby tree. The sound of her rapid breaths and tearful sobs reached my ears. The circumstances puzzled me greatly: why was she present at this late hour, in such inclement weather, shedding tears in solitude?

"How could you do this Krishna, i can't stay here any longer, i want to go back home." She cried, i felt a sudden pang in my chest when i heard her crying her heart out. She was really hurt by something huge.

"Enough of nonsense, i wanted to learn from gurudev, but it's getting worse, then i thought it to be." She let out crying, As I rushed towards the shore, I noticed her collapsed and gasping for breath. It was heart-wrenching to witness her in such despair. Startled by the sound of my approaching footsteps, she hastily wiped away her tears and sprinted towards me, a mix of confusion and fear etched onto her face.

"Nihira, what are you doing here-?" She questioned, her voice began to break in between. She tried to stood up on the ground, but eventually falling down again.

"It's okay tushti, I'm not gonna harm you." I said, gently making her sit again on the ground. She was shivering, and her gaze was fixed at mine. As her hands sought for mine, she collapsed into my embrace, gasping for air and weeping uncontrollably. I tenderly placed my hand on her shoulders, attempting to soothe her, yet I struggled to comprehend the true cause of her distress.

"It's okay tushti, sometimes crying heals too." I replied to her sobbing.

"I don't wanna live anymore." She said loudly, gasping and trying to drew breaths heavily.

"Why is that-" i said As I gently held her cheeks, I turned her face towards me. My heart broke into countless fragments as I witnessed her soaked in tears, her face moist and her kajal smudged, with strands of hair escaping her bun and her eyes bloodshot.

"Calm down, tushti. I'm here for you." I said hugging her tightly.

"What is happening, tell me." I said rubbing her back throughly.

Witnessing her vulnerability, tears streaming down her face, her trembling body, and her shattered state of mind, I could no longer bear to see her in such a condition. Initially, I suspected her to be a spy or some sort of agent, but she turned out to be something entirely different- a person yearning for affection and care.