Say My Name [BoyXBoy/ MXM]

Chapter 7. Jaeson

"He'll think something is going on between us," Holden cuts in avoiding my eyes.

I pause in silence trying to read if he means what I think he means.

"I have told him about you, actually. And explained about Kitty as well. But if he finds out I stayed in at your place twice, he's going to assume something else," he continues and the redness on the tip of his ears is giving away what he's thinking.

I clear my throat and say, "Just tell him you're at Kitty's house."

"Isn't that the same thing?" He looks back up.

"He will know Kitty is the reason and not me," I say and he goes silent again.

I feel comfortable with Holden but maybe because of the walls he's putting up between us, I'm noticing that I unconsciously block myself from thinking or speaking freely when it comes to him.

"Is there anything you want to eat? I can make it for dinner," I ask changing the topic.

"Anything is fine."

"You said that before as well."

"No, really. Director cooks very well so I'm fine with any."

I can't help but smile, "That's the very first compliment you've given me."

He bites his lips, which I'm quick to notice, a little flush on his cheeks as he nods in acknowledgment.

"Say, Holden-"

"Lillian." He cuts in quickly.

"Hm?" I look at him confused.

He bites his lips again, I'm afraid he'll bleed it out if he keeps doing that.

"You can call me Lillian."

I smile at him amused, "I thought you wanted me to stick with Holden."

"That's because you were just a stranger. Everyone around me calls me Lillian and I don't think you're much different anymore," he reasons.

"That's fair," I nod. "So Lillian,"

I notice his face flushed and I hold back a smile. Cute.

"I forgot what I was going to say," I say and he looks at me with a funny face.

"Then, remember it," he says back and puts his hands on the counter, the shirt slipping off his shoulder slightly as he moves. It's distracting.

"You should've picked out a smaller shirt, you're drowning in that one," I say, hoping I sound nonchalant.

He looks really adorable in it but it has me keeping on edge for some reason. I was startled during the call when I saw him cleaning the cup in my kitchen.

It felt domestic, something I never expected to feel with anyone. Not even with Roseline who stays in and out after sex and does whatever and whenever she wants in my house.

Growing up in a big mansion with all kinds of people around, parents busy with work while you just eat and play at specific times, and one or two people always around you to supervise what you should and should not be doing, I was never able to feel the domestic bond in our family. We do have a kinship and are comfortable around each other but because of our environment and circumstances, I never felt at home when I grew up at the grand house.

I shake my head and suppress whatever thoughts trying to slip up into my mind about this weird unfamiliar feeling.

Holden adjusts the shirt, "I didn't want to mess up your clothes so I picked the top one. It's okay, it feels comfy."