Say My Name [BoyXBoy/ MXM]

Chapter 10. Lillian

Days went by and I still kept thinking about embarrassing myself in front of all those people. I always have severe anxiety attacks whenever I find myself in a heavily uncomfortable situation.

I don't fear the public or anything but I do feel anxious when everyone's eyes are on me, especially when I have done something wrong. And that's what happened. I didn't tell it to Miles, he doesn't need unnecessary worry for me.

I can't help but think about him again. He called me yesterday but I was doing my laundry and missed out on his call. There was a message as well. And I have still been hesitating to give him a callback.

The Director is a nice person, now I have realized. He cares about me and treats me well and that's been making me confused as hell because I'm starting to like him a little too much. And it's scary because this feeling is a lane I should've never entered.

Seeing him in one of those expensive suits of his always made me notice how handsome and perfect he is. Many times, I have to pretend he is mid so I don't get off guard by his presence.

But that day at the party...looking that good and expensive, with beautiful and elegant women around him, kind of made me realize that it's not right for me to hang around someone like him.

It isn't that I'm looking down on myself but the distance between us really speaks for itself after I saw him there fitting in perfectly. While I came out embarrassing myself.

I still remember what his ex told me. I didn't care then but it's starting to get into my head a little.
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'I can't believe he's ignoring me only because he found a pretty-faced kid and also a boy?'

I kept quiet not understanding what she was trying to come at.

'So how many times have you guys been doing it?'

'What're you talking about, miss? I'm not sure if I understand.'

'I'm asking how many times have you been on his bed.'

'Wha-' I was starting to get a little too uncomfortable around this woman.

'Alright, don't answer. I might just start acting like a bitch if I know,' she said holding up a hand.

As if she wasn't already being a bitch.

'Wah...was he so bored with me that he started to explore boys now? I can't believe this...We've been together for a whole year!'

Together...but the Director told me she wasn't his girlfriend and that she already ended it on the day he got drunk...But why did she know the door passcode? She walked in casually like she owned the place.

'I don't know if you're sticking to him for your own good or actually because you like him but whatever it may be, Jaeson doesn't do relationships. So don't even think about taking it far because forget his family, even he himself will get tired of you. He's known for that.'

'...' At this point, I remained silent on purpose letting her mouth run around however she likes.

'Look at yourself, do you really think he'll choose you over those girls his mom sets him up with? Even I know now that our one whole year was nothing to convince him because sooner than you think he'll get married to someone else because of his father.'
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After that, he arrived and I listened to their conversation from the guest room door. And he didn't lie to me about anything.

I sigh and shake my head not wanting to think back to that very uncomfortable situation I was in.