Say My Name [BoyXBoy/ MXM]

Chapter 12. Jaeson

"When do you reach home after your shift?" I ask Lillian before he gets out of the car.

"Around 8."

"Text me then so I know you're safe."

His face is flushed as he nods at me.

"Thank you for the ride, I'm leaving," he says before heading inside.

"..."

"It's starting to fall in place why you've not been able to connect with any women you've been with," Dylan says once Lillian is out of ears.

He gets off from the backseat and shifts himself in the shotgun.

"Game of squash?" I say ignoring his comment.

"Sure."

We head to our usual Squash game zone. Dylan and I used to play here a lot when we were back in college. But after having our work responsibilities, we haven't been able to hang out much.

"You're gay," he states after a short while into the game.

I give him a look, "I find women attractive, Dy. I just don't want to settle."

"Keep lying to yourself. You won't stress about it much if it's Lillian you have to settle with."

And I pause there. The idea of having to live together with Lillian tied down under a certificate, doesn't put me off like it usually does with Roseline or anyone I have been with.

"You're right but it'll have to do with more of my comfort with him around and nothing to do with the possibility of me being gay," I say honestly.

"Were you not comfortable with Roseline?" He asks looking somewhat confused.

"I was. But it's not the same. I liked having her around, but never wanted her to be around all the time."

"But you don't mind Lillian around you all the time?"

"..."

Where is he going with this talk?

"I never said that," I mumble realizing he has a point.

If I think about it, I won't mind if I have to see Lillian twenty-four seven. I even like the sound of it. And that thought of it is starting to confuse me a little.

"You said it's not the same."

"I mean, Lillian's a boy. It would be just like having a roommate friend around," I try to reason but it doesn't sound convincing even to my ears.

Especially after what happened earlier in the morning.

"Sure, you don't even let me sleep at yours that time when we were so drunk and we've been friends for what? Decades?"

I sigh at him, "Why are you so pressed by my love life anyway?"

I have no idea why he's trying to make me admit I like Lillian. As far as I know myself, I simply adore Lillian and find him comfortable in my space. And I don't want to think otherwise.

Whatever happened in the morning is also a glitch on my part.

"I'm just surprised to see a boy in the picture. I never thought about it but now that I do, it's like the last puzzle piece is finally in place."

"Can you stop trying to portray me as gay? Because I can assure you I'm not and have never been attracted to any guys."

"Until Lillian."

I just shake my head and stop the play to drink water.

"I'm not attracted to him that way," I say but something is bugging me as I say it.