The Brick Wall

Chapter 65

Collins POV

I've spent the entirety of the plane ride back home tucked into Curtis' side, unwilling to let there be a bit of space between us. He didn't seem to mind. At one point I was pretty sure he was going to plant me in his lap again.

I settled for falling asleep on his chest for the third time today.

After I quite literally lost myself in pouring out the painful details of that night, I fell asleep in his arms, right there in the bathroom just three feet away from the toilet I'd just finished vomiting in. I stirred slightly when he managed to get both of us up and move to the bed. He laid me on my side before climbing in on his own. As soon as he settled, I rolled over and closed the space between us, searching for his comfort and warmth again.

We both slept like that for several hours until the alarm went off and we had to prepare for the trip home.

"Did you hear from your mom?" I ask him while we wait for our bags at the airport. We'd both been a bit out of it after the insanity of the evening that neither of us had been responding to any messages unless absolutely necessary. I'd even left my brother and sister in law on read when they messaged me about Curtis blowing up all over ESPN.

"Yeah, said she's going to have a big spread waiting on us when we get in since it'll be dinner time."

I nod silently, watching as he grabs up both of our bags and slips a hand into mine. I stride alongside him until he's opening his truck door for me to climb in. He surprises me by reaching over and securing the buckle for me. I shouldn't be surprised, he'd done it on the plane, too.

My level of functioning capabilities is definitely lacking today.

We sit in silence on the way to the apartment, but it doesn't stop Curtis from reaching over and holding my hand. The way his thumb rubs over the soft skin is comforting, probably not just for me at the moment.

I believe I'd genuinely scared him with my reaction to his confession of 'loving me.' Even though he pushed me to spill everything, I think he's now feeling the aftershocks and believes he needs to handle me with kid gloves.

I don't know whether to correct him for it or to just let him continue. I have no idea if I'm going to break down again, or to what extent that could look like. The next time it happens could be the one time it pushes him away from me altogether and I'll never know if I truly am capable of letting myself love him.

I love his daughter. I love the way he is as a father to her.

But the way he sees me, really, truly sees me, is terrifying me.

We take the stairs up to our level at my insistence, telling him that I still need to stretch my legs after the three hour flight. With a nod of agreement he leads the way once more. We reach my door first.

"I'm gonna need a bit," I admit, taking my bag from his hand. He takes a step closer as I unlock the door. With my hand on his chest I tell him to go on and see his family. "I'm going to freshen up, I'll see you soon."

Curtis leans down, kissing my forehead before stepping away. "I love you," he tells me once more. I close the door as soon as I can, making my way into my bathroom. With the shower running I collapse in a heap on the floor and sob.

Curtis POV

I didn't want to leave her. I want to flood her system, crowd her even more and tell her 'no, you can't be by yourself' because I'm terrified she's saying goodbye without ever speaking the words.

She opened up to me, possibly in a way she has never done with another person in her life. I'm thankful for it just as much as I am angry. The anger isn't towards her, it never could be. But the fury that I feel for the bastard who turned her life upside down?