gold-tinted glasses

eatung lunch at the taco bell

I got a Crunchwrap Supreme Meal Deal, in case you were wondering.

This isn't sonething I do often, and I realise that as I click through the option to sign in on the app. It's a shame, but I think it would be even sadder if I waited another 5 minutes to download the app for a free wrap. It's not like I do this much anyways.

It's an early finish at school, and all that really means is that I can't eat lunch at school and have to go somewhere else instead.

I'm on the bus to the high street trying to tune out the noise of year 7s and I wonder why i didn't even try to make plans with anyone. I don't know either, this term hasn't felt good. I just want to curl into a ball and do nothing and that's not something you do with company. Still, this feels a bit sad. It is what it is though.

I wash my hands and look at myself in the toilet mirror after I place my order. I do look average, really, which is kind of unfortunate. I sit facing away from the counter where the workers are and at an angle hidden from the other people here.

This is kind of a product of how I've felt lately. The food isn't bad, actually, but I eat, a bit like a robot, by myself. I haven't had the energy to reach out to anyone and I know I'm exhausted, but I'm not sure of what. It could be nothing or everything. It's not that I'm in desperate need of company but I just feel like my life is a bit sad and I do feel a bit sad.

It's not like I thought I was popular or someone with lots of friends or someone really hot and mysterious (most of the time) but this feels a bit like a blunt reminder that I'm just some guy on the crowded street at the end of the day.

It never occured to me that other people would really not like me or make jokes about me without me knowing, but I found that out today. I don't want to think about it too much, and I don't because I don't actually care that much. It was more of a, huh, im just an average guy, moment.

Today has been a weird day.

It would be even sad if I went home and played games by myself and not talked to anyone, and that's what I do.

I talked to my mum for about 10 seconds before going upstairs. It's been even quieter than usual because my dad's away right now, but he'll be home today. My room is cold and kind of sad.