Another Chance for Lives

A Confession

DRAUPADI

I sit on the balcony of my room, relaxing. After carrying around one of the heaviest lahenga for hours, it feels so good to change into normal attire. Well, normal still means embroidery lahenga, heavy border odhni. I don't get to wear white or beige since my husbands are well and I am newly wed so I wear light colour cloths whenever I am alone. The men of the family went out for hunting. My husbands, Pitamah Bishma, many of the hundred brothers, and some more whose name or position I don't remember anymore. Maharaj Dhritarashtra didn't go on the request of Kaka Vidur. My father's friend guru Dronachariya didn't go as he is a Bramhin and its a 'family outing'. It was funny how the big, angry Duryodhaan blushed when he was told that its time he also get married.

I was admiring the sunset when a servant came in and informs me that my mother-in-law wishes to see me urgently. I hurriedly put on more thin gold bangles, a maang tikka, earrings and a thin necklace. I should always be wearing this things to show I am nit a widow they say.

I reach her chamber and as I enter she orders me to come in alone without Malini. I get a little anxious and greets her.

"You look as beautiful as ever even in this simple colour." She says with a smile. I wouldn't call it a simple colour but I didn't say anything.

"I am indeed lucky to have you as my daughter-in-law." she continues. Is she being sarcastic? I never had a mother, my father had wives but they were not my mother so I really don't know how a mother praises her daughter. Seeing my confusion, she explains. "Well, I obviously didn't call you here only to say that. Dear, I want to talk to you today as a mother, not your in-law."

She stands up and face away the other side. "I have heard before that Anga Raj Karna was stopped from performing in your swayamvar by my son and I always worried that he must have been angry. He must have felt like my son snatch something that was his."

My palms starts sweating. Does she know how I feel?

But she's still speaking, "Today my fear was proven correct. And I want to do at least something to release the tension."

I just stay shut, frozen, not knowing where this is going.

"You can be the one who mends the relationship between him and your husbands Draupadi."

Now I am really confuse. "I don't understand what you mean Mata. Besides, we are going away to Khandaprast in few days, everyone will forget about it."

"He won't." My mother-in-law's voice firm, like she knows him well. "He's been letting go of everything but this one he won't. And when he gets to know about everything, he'll hate me to death. So please help me Draupadi. I can't tell this to anyone, you are my only hope." she sits down next to me and says, fear in her eyes.

"What do you want me to do?" I ask her, still very confuse.
"Talk to him, your husbands doesn't hold grudge much, they will be fine, they will listen to me but Karna, only you can talk. I don't have the nerve to comfort him, only you can." she says with tears in her eyes.

I stand up with anger, "Forgive me, Rajmata Kunti. I don't understand. I am married, to you sons. I don't think I can comfort any other man. Do you want me to commit a sin?"

"I don't mean that Putri, but there's a secret I never wanted anyone to know, but Krishna said if I keep it hidden, great consequences will be faced. and he's never wrong. But I still can't tell this to my sons or Karna. Or to anyone ever. But you will be a mother someday so you will understand. You two can hide it from everyone, but a mother will always know." The mother of five greatest warrior cries in front of me.

"That would still be a sin. I am a married women." I say holding back my tears, not happy that she knows my secret.

She starts crying more and says, "Sin is what I did." And she narrates me the story of Karna. How she left him in the river and a charioteer name Adhiratha found him. How his wife Radha and him raised him in a small hut while he should be growing up as the eldest Kuru.

"What have you done mata?" I ask her, still not believing what I heard.

"Its true, and everyday, I live in hell for that sin." She says .
"You should tell them. You should tell all 6 of your sons about it. They surely will understand." I try to convince her.

"No Draupadi, I could never tell that to anyone. Karna won't ever accept me. and my other sons will just hate me. I can't do that. And you also won't tell anyone, its not a request." she says.

I was left speechless when she started telling more of their rivalries and how much Karna suffered because of his caste. Insulted, multiple times, sometimes by my husbands. All I could think was how much pain can he endure.

"Tending another man in secret would still be sin Matashree, and what will people say? You yourself are so afraid of the society, the family, your sons, but what about me?" I cried.

She hugs me, "No putri, I am not asking you to do anything. Just be a friend to him. comfort him a little, invite him to Khandaprast. Talk to him about his Pandavs, let him know they are not bad people. If not brothers, please make my sons friends with each other. I request you Draupadi. And no, it wouldn't be a sin for you to talk to him. He almost won you, and I said that all my sons should share you, he is also my son. And moreover, your life as a wife is yet to be started."

"I still can't." I say. "What if people start asking me why I talk to him a lot?"

"Talking is not a crime Putri. And I had no one, but you have me. I will protect you from everyone. Please be a friend to him. He will soon get married and you will also be busy, after that he will always stay under Duryodhaan's shadow, hating his own brothers." My mother-in-law begs me.