Another Chance for Lives

Right Person, Wrong Time

KARNA

Duryodhaan makes sure I am I am spending time with the Pandavs family. When we first reached here he couldn't suppressed his anger and jealousy. He used to say he will destroy everything one day and make Hastinapur's palace much bigger and beautiful than Indraprasth. Now he just compliments everything. Maharaj Dhritarasth is surprise, but happy with Duryodhaan's change in behaviour. Mahamahim Bhisma also, but they are proud. "Now that your brothers are finally away you must be missing them, that's how brothers are." He said. They left for Hastinapur and now its just me, Duryodhaan and Dusassan with the Pandavs family. I mostly skip situation where we have to sit long and talk but today I have to sit for a meal. It's also been few days since I saw Draupadi, but today she sits in front of me. On her sides sits Yudhisthir and Arjun. I don't think Rajmata Kunti told them about me yet. But they have also somehow became friendlier, except for Bheem and Arjun. I feel nervous sitting with them and eating. I hate that Draupadi sits next to them, the urge to smack their faces somehow have reduced. Rajmata Kunti sits next to me, I want to ask her to move and sit next to her sons.

"Isn't this nice? I don't remember the last time we ate like this." Duryodhaan says.

"Because you poisoned me." Bheem replies fast.

"Again, I am really sorry. I was a kid and didn't know better." Duryodhaan apologise and Dusassan just smile and nods as if he is innocent.

"Enough of the past. I am just happy that all my sons are all eating a meal together." Rajmata says, her words makes me barf.

When the foods are serve, Arjun adds a handful of salt on his food and mix it together. Seeing my shock face Nakul explains, "Bhrata Arjun have promised that he will add a handful of salt to all of his meal until Panchali accept him as her husband."

I look at Draupadi, she just eats silently, as if it doesn't bother her.

"Because of him we can't even ask Panchali to choose us. Arjun really is determined" Says Bheem.

Yudhisthir being reasonable, "The choice is still her's. And when she choose anyone, Arjun has to respect that and stop being childish like this."

"I won't stop until she forgives me." Arjun eats the food as if its normal to eat like that.

Draupadi still doesn't say anything. The room is filled with awkwardness.

Duryodhaan breaks the silence, "It's nice that Bhabhishree is also eating with us. Bhabhishree, feed me Panchal's food again."

"Anga Raj also knew a girl from Panchal right?" The spotlight is on me now. "Why don't we taste her hand this time."

I look at her, not understanding why she said that, and she smirks. She beautifully smirks, a naughty smirks.

This kind of topic is something even your enemy gets curious, so everyone is looking at me now, wanting to know who is this girl from Panchal. I look at Duryodhaan, hoping he will help.

"That is nothing, he just saw a girl in Panchal after the swayamvar of bhabhishree." He says, I hoped he would end there but no, my helpful friend tries to rescue me more than he need to.

"His real one is from Hastinapur, Kakashree Adhirath's friend's daughter, Vrushali. They were friends since childhood and they have very strong connection." He says. Draupadi's smirk fades.

Pandavs got intrigued and Duryodhaan keeps on narrating. Vrushali was my childhood friend and it will be wrong to say I didn't have any feelings for her. Before I met Draupadi, I thought that was love. I always thought love is supposed to be easy, that true love means being with each other. In this three years I realised that that's not quite it. Draupadi taught me what love actually is.

I cannot describe it in words, it will lose it's meaning. But love is painful, yet you don't want to be over with it. Love doesn't always have to be known to the world. She is a secret I hold very close to my heart but cannot embrace. She's the apricity of my life even if she's not mine. I have tried a lot to forget her and every time I failed, I thanked God.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go and ask for her hand." Says Bheem. His words makes me feel a sudden sense of belongingness. Vrushali is also a sut and they know it. The Bheem I know wouldn't say it. Maybe they are not bad people who discriminates because of caste, maybe they just hated me because I am Arjun's competition. Arjun who is eating the salted food like a fool, clearly having it hard to swallow. My eyes shifts to Draupadi. I am just glad she doesn't have a sharp object near her. She looks like she would kill me. But she looks beautiful as always, anger is like an ornament on her. Sure she might stab me, but her eyes. Holy cow! I am in love with my brothers' wife. A sudden wave of guilt shivers my body as the rest of the group talks about Dusassan's marriage proposal to Bhanu's cousin Charumati.

It was hard to sleep that night. The woman I love is my brother's wife. My brother, although I want to kick his ass, is eating his meal with a handful of salt until his wife accepts him, it was hard to watch. She doesn't care about it and part of the reason is me. No matter how much I don't like him, is it right for me to be the reason he suffers, his heart suffers? I can lie to the whole world but I cannot lie to myself, I am happy I found my family. I am happy we are getting alone. Will it be right to throw it all away?

The next morning, I went very early to the river to do my Surya pooja. I sit under a tree contemplating my thoughts. I was too deep in my thought I didn't notice someone walking up to me, covering my eyes with their hands. My warrior instinct made me grab the hand fast and pull the person in front of me.

"Draupadi?" I let her hand go fast. She laughs. Her long tresses still dripping water droplets. Wrapped in a plain keshari saree, adorning no jewels. Unable to take my eyes off her, I just kept staring. I swear to God, I have seen a lot of beautiful women but no makes my heart faster than she does. No one holds my eyes like hers does. No one surprises me like she does. I want to wake up to this view everyday.

"Why? Did you think it was Vrushali?" She taunts me.
"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"I came to take bath in the river, why are you here so early?"

"I.. I came to do my pooja." I say. "Where are the guards? It's not safe."

"Malini is there. How can guards follow me here?"

"Then you should go back to the palace soon, its not safe for a Maharani to be without guards."

"I don't want to go back yet."

"Then I'll go." I got up to leave.

"No, wait." She grabs my wrist with her small hand. "Why? Do you hate talking to me?"

She have no idea how I am stopping myself from pulling her close to me. The best I can do is walking away now.

"You know it's not that." I say.

She comes close to me, looks around and pressed her lips lightly. God! She's killing me.

"I.. I wanted to ask something." She says.

"Ask. Is there anything I can do for you?" I ask her.

"I.. I wanted to ask if you can take me away?" She says softly.

"What?" I really did not understand.

"Take me away, I will be the charioteer, I am ready." She says.

It took me all my courage, to deny her. I cannot break up her family. I cannot break my brothers.

"That wouldn't be right, Draupadi." I say. "The time has passed."

She took a moment, her face red. "I understand. Please forgive me for my behaviour."

She walks away fast. I try to stop her. "Draupadi.. wait."

But she didn't stop.