Another Chance for Lives

Disturbances

Below 18, don't read >''<

DRAUPADI

I worry what will people think, how they will react and how I will live this life of mine. I obviously wanted my family from Kampiliya to attend the wedding. This is the only wedding I actually wanted so I wanted the whole world to know about it. But it somehow is a relief that very less people is here. I am scared. No, I am nervous. I don't know how things are going to change from here. The servants combs my hair, the chudamani I threw away that days flashes in front of my eyes. I have not seen it since then but I know Arjun has it. It has made very clear to me again again by many people that this is just a namesake marriage. I asked, "Like the ones I have with 5 pandavs?" They said its different because I have to choose one of them but the wedding is Karna is just for following rituals since I have to marry all brothers. I told matashree if she have other sons she haven't told us about she better keep it hidden forever. I am not doing this again.

"Your hair is really beautiful, Maharani." Malini braids my hair. Only she's here in my room. Others are busy with the wedding planning. The wives of the Pandavs came earlier but we are not that close, Karenumati took them out sensing the awkwardness in the room. This was supposed to be the happiest day of my life but the expectation of others and judgement weighs me down. I had the grandest swayamvar and wedding ceremony in the world till date, they say it will be recorded in the history. That time I was confused and scared, didn't know what to expect and wished I had a small ceremony instead. Today I am having that small ceremony. Just few family members, not even my father will be able to attend. We will just do the necessary rituals, we will circumambulate the fire pit seven times, reciting the vows in the presence of the sacred fire with Agnidev as witness. This is just a necessary ceremony for other people so there is not much preparation or anything. How will Karna feel? And what vows are we supposed to say? Maybe the bramhin who will perform the ceremony will tell us. 

I sit impatiently in my room. Thankfully Karenumati came. "The wedding started, you need to go out in some time." 

She sits down next to me and holds my hand to calm me down. "You look so beautiful." Her words does makes me happy. I am marrying the man I love. Other people will talk for sure, there will be more rules now, sure. But I am marrying the man I ever wanted to marry, the man I love. 

"Where are the Pandavs? And matashree?" I ask.

"They are outside. Don't be surprise now. There is no such thing as grooms side or brides side. Everybody is mixed up." She tells me.

"How can there be. No one from my family is here."

"What do you mean? Your husbands are your first family members now and your friend is also here."

I could not wait anymore. "Karenumati, tell me honestly. Is everyone angry? How are my husbands and.. how is Karna? He surely must be disappointed. This is his first marriage and it is being held like this." I somehow have lost the believe I always had that my man will have only me as his wife thanks to my husbands. 

"To tell you the truth, no one seems that delighted but no one looks sad either. Bhratashree Arjun does look unhappy and Bhratashree Duryodhaan, Dusassan and my husband looks happy but others' I cannot tell. They don't look unhappy but not happy either." She tells me.

"How about Karna?" I ask.

"His face is the most difficult to read."

When it was time for me to go out, Krishna came to walk me. "Krishnaa, I will walk you today." He smiles. I am being called by my birth name after so long and it made me feel like I am not Drupad's daughter Draupadi or Pandav's Panchali but I am just Krishnaa getting married. "Thank you." I smile back at Krishna, I know that's the reason he called me by my name, to shake off the guilt. But it did not last long. As I walk with him to the spot I was supposed to sit next to Karna my vision gets blurry. I did not want to look at anybody in the eyes. I just walk looking down until I reach the spot and Krishna sat me down. I want to ask Karna if he is fine but I could not even look up at him. The bramhin kept reciting the mantras fast as I stare at the fire. I could not register anything. I just sat there like a log of wood. "Now you have to circle the fire." The bramhin tells us.