Another Chance for Lives

Talk The Talk

KARNA

When me and Duryodhaan went in the museum they were already there. Bhanu and Durshala stands at the other side of the museum where they keep the clothes worn by different queens on the coronation day along with their painting. Draupadi however is not with them. She stands alone in an area a little further. She seems to not notice that we have arrived. Duryodhaan signals me to go and talk to her and he takes Bhanu and his sister to other rooms of the museum. Don't ask me how I know but from the back only she seems to be worried. When I went closer to her I see she's staring at the crown of King Bharat, the forefather of the Kuruvansh.
I stand few feet behind her and look at the crown. It doesn't look ordinary, just like the woman who's staring at it. Draupadi seems to be spacing out and I silently watch her. After few moment I speak. "It is beautiful." 
She turns back and gives me a light smile. "Being beautiful seems to be it's sin. Separated from the other crowns. Lonely, in this big museum." 
She looks at me, her eyes hold tears. "I am going back to Khandavprast soon. As soon as the marriage will over. I will go back with my husbands." I don't say anything, I just look at her.

"I am supposed to start my marriage life soon after reaching there." She says. I still don't say anything. Is there anything I can say? Am I supposed to congratulate her?

"I will be the wife of each one of them for a year." She says. Even though I already know she's married to 5 brother, I just cannot digest it. 
"Are you fine with it?" I ask her.

The tear she's been holding in since god knows how long falls. She quickly wipes it. "It doesn't matter."
I am getting frustrated. "It does matter. You should speak up if you are not fine with it."
"I am fine." She says clearly to make me understand how fine she is.
"Then why are you crying?" I ask.

My birth father Surya Dev told me to follow Dharma and for that I have suppressed my anger towards the Pandavs and I try to make Duryodhaan reflect on the things he did. I know I am a proud man, in fact my mother Radha says I have more pride than a kshatriya. My father Adhiratha told me to stay humble, bowing down to the kings, I never listen. I have so much faith in my skills to stay under anyone. But today knowing this might be the last chance we get to talk alone, I couldn't follow Dhaarma and I abandon my pride.
But it doesn't matter. Afterall, all great warrior falls at the feet of his woman, mine just happens to be not mine. 
"Draupadi, if you ever change your mind, if there's even a little bit of space for me in your heart, or even if it doesn't and you are not fine with whatever's going on, my chariot awaits."

"Please don't say that." She says.
I am just getting angrier. "Why? What did I say that's so wrong? Is it more wrong than what's happening with you? I will face anyone for you Draupadi, just say the word."
"I can't let you do that." Tears dwelling up in her eyes. 

"Do you think I can't face your husbands?" I ask.
"I don't doubt your skill, I just can't let you guys fight because of me."

"Why do you care about that?" 

"Please speak softly." She's almost crying now.
"Draupadi.." I try to go near her. 

"I don't want you to be hurt because of me." She says. "We can't do this."

I just look at her silently. 

"I try imagining my life with you, and without you and both hurts. Not just me but you too, and everyone in our life will be hurt if I stay with you. It hurts more than it should. So I've decided that today is last day I'll have feelings for you. After today, I won't have any dedicated spot for you in my heart." 
Her words makes me happy and devastating at the same time. Happy that I have a spot in her heart, devastating that she's removing that spot. 

I try to speak but there's a chock of sadness in my throat. " Draupadi, I will face everything..."

But she doesn't let me finish. "So, Anga Raj, let's move on from each other. Share your life with someone you love."

My heart is deeply wounded but when she ask me to share my life with someone I love, it felt like she's mocking me. She knows whom I love. "Fine then. So that I would not find you again, I hope the world turns upside down. So that I can forget you, I hope you walk away from here soon. But I will pray for your safety always."

When we come out of the museum Bhanu tells me, "Anga Raj, my friends who are coming are excited to meet you, I hope you will have time to show them around Hastinapur."

"Sure, I will try my best to escort them." I tell her. 

Duryodhaan comes up to me later and ask, "Did you guys talk?"

I honestly told him what happened and he got angry. Probably more angry than me, but isn't that why we share with our friends? Their anger for our situation makes us feel better. 

"Its fine. There's nothing more to talk about it." I say to calm him down so that he won't ruin his mood so close to his wedding day. But in actuality, I had a lot to talk.

DRAUPADI

I closed them chamber and sent everyone away saying I am not feeling well, but Malini refused to leave. And honestly it was good she stayed. I cried. I cried a lot without saying anything. I know no matter how much I try, I can't forget him, but its still my duty to try and be a good wife, I cannot let him fight with Pandavs or be a reason to break Pandavs unity. Malini comforts me by rubbing my back. She says, "You are one strong woman Maharani."

I just wanted to be his woman, strong or weak. So I just cry the whole night.

My husbands arrived soon and I try to bring up what Rishi Vyas told me, my mother-in-law brush it off. Yudhistir also agrees with his mother and well, what will others say. 

Later Arjun came to console me. "Panchali, I am also not happy with matashree and bhratashree's decision"
'Not enough to back me up' I thought to myself.

He hugs me and says, "Just 4 years Panchali, after that I will make sure you only stay as a namesake wife for them. We are destine to be together. I will remove every obstacle. Just have  a little patience Panchali."