Can't i find new friends ?

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Cara POV

,,We definitely need to work on your cooking skills" i say to Leah while standing in her kitchen making dinner ,,Why ?I have you" she says with a grin ,,But im not here the whole time" i say

Leah comes up to me and hugs me from behind ,,I wish you could" she says and grin.

I just came back from international camp aswell as Leah and was more than happy with my life right now.We had an amazing start in the season and won the first three Games.I scored already 4 Goals and had 2 Assists i felt pretty good.International Camp was great too we had two Games again and i wore the Captain Armband for the first time.I was third Captain for Germany and since Poppi didnt play the Game due to injury and Svenni was substitued during halftime i leaded the team out for the second half of the Game.

It was the proudest moment of my life and i will never forget going out of the changing room on the pitch with the armband and how proud my parents looked at me in this moment.

,,What are you thinking about ?"Leah asks and i turn around in her arms ,,Nothing" i say with a grin ,,Im just happy".

Leah smiles at me and i kiss her forehead ,,And you play a big part in this" i say and she grins at me ,,I could say the same about you..you make me happy" she says and i smile.

Then why did you say no to being my girlfriend ?

Flashback

After our Game against Everton i drove home with Leah since we wanted to spend the night together.Everything felt great right now and i think we were getting closer to something official.We kissed each other ,we sleep often side by side and we spend most of the free time we have together.

We bought something from our favorite Italien restuarant in the town and sat down on my couch to watch a football game while eating.When we finished Leah and i cuddled and i stroke her back slightly when i take a deep breath

,,Leah..i..i want to ask you something" i say a bit nervous and she turns her head to me and looks at me while still having her head on my chest ,,Yeah what is it ?"

,,I want to ask you if you want to have something more serious..i would like you to be my girlfriend" i say and look at her full of hope.

,,Cara.." she says and i definitely now what she was gonna say now.

,,Forget it" i say quickly and look at the TV again.

,,Cara..look at me" she says and i slowly look back to her ,,I cant..not now maybe in the future but not now" she says and i sigh ,,Why ?" i say.

,,Because i dont want to hurt you..if we do this then i want to feel everything for you and not just a little bit of something.I want time for myself and live my own life a bit" she says and i shake my head.

,,Could you please sit up ?" I ask her and she looks at me a bit sad but does it.I sit up and look over to her

,,If you want to have time for yourself then why are we spending so much time together ?And why do we kiss each other then ?Im confused Leah.." i say to her.

,,Because i feel safe with you and i want to spend time with you and kiss you because i enjoy it we just can get to something official..not now" she says and i shake my head and stand up.

,,Dann mach mir keine Hoffnung" i say in German while walking to the kitchen (Then dont give me hope)

,,What did you say ?!" she says and stands up to follow me while i go to the fridge and take out some water

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