𝗠𝗬 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡 | 𝗝𝗨𝗗𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗔𝗠

20.

Jude

"So what the fuck has been going on?" Gio asks as him and I take a seat by the pool. The girls, Isabella included are all out shopping. They tried to get us to come, but we refused. Gio and I have been shopping with Harmony, Chloe and Aaliyah before. It's a nightmare. It's like trying to survive the hunger games.

Hours of endless walking, arguments when we don't like something they've picked out that they ask for our opinion on, moods from all three when they get hungry due to shopping for over three hours. It's not fun.

"Well, a lot." I laugh taking a sip of my cocktail. The past few days have been a mindfuck.

"I told you about the Harmony kiss."

"Yes the stupidest thing I think you've ever done." Gio jokes. I flick a glare over at him causing him to stop smiling.

"I told Isabella."

Gio's mouth drops open in shock. "What did she say?"

"She....strangely she took it really well. Which made me feel even more shit because she's so nice and deserves better."

"Agreed." Gio comments and this time I don't glare over at him because he's right.

"Guessing you two are over?"

"Yeah. Still friends though. Think we actually get on more because we are." I shrug. Still confused on how this hasn't gone terribly wrong.

"You're lucky." Gio states as if I don't already know how lucky I am to have someone as amazing as Isabella be so nice about the entire fucked up situation. Smile when I've told her that I'm still madly in love with my ex girlfriend.

I nod, looking out at the people in the pool.

"What happens now then?" A good question from my best friend but one that makes me deeply think. All honesty, I have no clue. I just know I have to focus on myself for a bit.

"Now—" I sip my drink again.

"—I'm just going to focus on myself. There's a lot of mental work I have to do. I haven't been in the best place for a year now." First time I'm telling that to anyone.

"Bro." Gio looks at me.

"You know I'm always here for you to tell me anything." He says softly.

"I know." I force a smile. Don't really want to smile these days.

Gio pats my back and then relaxes back on his chair.

"You gonna tell her?" He asks after a few minutes of silence.

"No." It's taking everything in me not to call her up and spill everything. But I'm listening to my therapist on this one. I'm not going to be impulsive, thoughtless. I don't want to lose her again. And she deserves time away to heal. I'm going to take things slowly, work on myself. I haven't showed up for myself in a long time. I need to get that personal happiness back.

"Why not?" Gio questions confused.

"I want to give it time." Is all I disclose. I kind of want to keep this private a little. I feel as though Gio will try and encourage me to tell her and that will trigger the impulsiveness in me. I don't want to screw anything else up. I can't.