Why not? - English

14-01 The Pontypandy Bee Project

Since it is not possible for flowers to be sown and bloom at the end in one episode, I have made the story for this episode a little longer, so please don't be surprised. Have fun while reading.

Sergeant Ravani had asked us to help set up a flower bed in the park, and since Sam was the expert gardener of us and I was the only one of the others who didn't live on rent and had a garden of my own to tend, Station Officer Steele had both of us sent to do this.

I wasn't as good at gardening as Sam, but I enjoyed crafting even more. So we formed a perfect team here too and all the people who hadn't built a bee hotel beforehand and had gone out to hang it up somewhere, helped us to mix the soil and create the borders. So we were finished in no time.

But it wasn't the new experience that it seemed that there exist nothing that Sam and I couldn't do together that had fascinated me that day, but rather the way Sam had treated Lilly. She was still so small and a little clumsy, but whether she threw the seed ball too high or hit someone with it, Sam always remained calm and patient and so understanding. He approached Lilly so nicely, encouraged her and recognized her weaknesses, which he eliminated in another small flower bed so that Lilly could finally position her granules because she wasn't overwhelmed with assessing the larger ones.

It just wouldn't let go of me and I had used the time over the last three weeks to pay even more attention to how Sam interacted with children. It wasn't that I hadn't noticed before how good and happy he was with children, but something gradually changed in my perspective as I noticed it more and more. Every time Sam laughed with or at a child, my heart sank. Every time I saw a mother holding her child, I even felt sad and filled with an unknown longing. When a father did this with his child, I felt an even deeper sadness because I always thought about Sam and how it might have seemed like an unfulfillable wish for him.

I couldn't say whether it was just a guilty conscience that I wanted to withhold the happiness of a family of his own from Sam or whether my internal clock was slowly starting to tick louder, but in these weeks I felt a wish growing within me that only confirmed itself when we were present at the opening of the Pontypandy Bee Project today. I had seen the satisfied look on Sam's face when everyone was so excited about the new honeycomb beds and the beautifully grown flowers in them - especially Lilly about hers. I had heard him laugh, how he only laughed when the children did something funny. Not that it was more heartfelt or more honest than when we laughed with each other or at or with our colleagues and friends - it just sounded different. I had also seen something in his eyes that warmed my heart and completely captivated me.

Something had to change and, to my surprise, I suddenly wanted it more than ever.

"You were so sweet to Lilly. It was really great of you to make her her own little flower bed," I began as we were doing the dishes at his place that evening. Even though we spent almost every night together, we still hadn't really decided to live together and we were still moving from his house to mine and back as the opportunity presented itself. If we were too tired or had the early shift the next morning so no one could catch us going to work together, we often slept at his place. If I started later than him, we usually slept at my place so that no one would see me coming out of his house when Pontypandy was wide awake.

We had considered giving up the hide-and-seek game a few times, but only until Ellie, Helen or Charlie tried something to catch us in the act and reminded us how much fun it was. So we carried on for now.

"You helped me with that," he replied and gave me a smile as he put the plate he had just dried in the cupboard and reached for the next one. I took a look at him and saw that he was thinking. "She's still so small. She can't assess everything like the older children," he objected and I could tell that he was thinking about something. Was he thinking about the time when the twins were so small or how much he would like to have a child himself?