Everything To Lose ( FreenxBecky)

Chapter 16

Becky sat at the kitchen island. It was 3 am. She hadn't even tried going to sleep. Sometime after she had entered the house, she threw up. Got all the excess alcohol out of her system and was now nursing a headache and a heartache with a glass of water. She had been thinking long and hard about how she would face Freen, but hadn't yet come up with what she would say.

She wondered then if they would be better off without each other. She wondered if she never should have come back here after all, she wondered if she should never have let Emily into this part of her life.

Becky wiped at her tears and looked around the house. Would it ever be okay? Was it ever going to feel better? Living with Freen? Knowing she...

She knew that she was one decision away from it getting better. It really was, now, all about what she wanted. All she had to do was let the anger go, forgive Freen, and maybe she could learn to trust her again. Or she had to move on. Get out of this place she once called home, and never see Freen again. Because her anger, her need for revenge was not doing anyone any good here.

There was a sound from the staircase. Becky looked to find Freen walking down. Freen stopped in her tracks when she spotted Becky sitting at the kitchen island.

"I thought you'd be at Friend's place.." came Freen's first words to her.

Becky wanted to say something, but was distracted by Freen's face. She'd been crying. Again.

"I dropped her off and came back." Becky said.

Freen nodded and walked around the kitchen island to get herself a glass of water. Her back was turned to Becky.

"Why'd you do it?!" came Becky's voice, choking up as the pain began to overwhelm her, take over her entire body.

Freen broke down too. Not ready to face Becky.

Becky stood up then and made her way towards where Freen was standing. "WHY FREEN? WAS MY LOVE NOT ENOUGH?"

"That's not what it was..." came Freen's small voice.

"WHY WAS IT SENG YOU WENT TO?"

"Becky..."

Becky placed a hand on Freen's shoulder she turned around to face her, the tears flowing endlessly down both their cheeks.

"TELL ME THEN! Tell me why you threw our love away!"

"I didn't know what I was doing..." Freen tried when Becky was pouring it all out now, she didn't even realize she had started poking at Freen's shoulder.

"It took you one night to forget everything we've been through together, why couldn't you come home to me, WHY DID YOU SEEK HIM OUT instead of me, Freen?!?!"

Freen was being pushed behind. Shame that was ever present within her, now taking on a renewed life. She knew Becky didn't mean to hurt her, she also knew Becky never dealt with anger well. She let Becky act out the way she needed to, wanting her to lash out, vent out as best she could.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK OF ME, FREEN?!" Becky cried. "I HAVE LOVED YOU WITH EVERY PART OF ME, I HAD DREAMS OF BUILDING MY LIFE WITH YOU, WHY WAS IT SO EASY FOR YOU TO THROW ALL OF THAT AWAY?!"

By now Becky looked exhausted, exhausted of strength, tears, words, all of it. She had pushed Freen enough for her to now be leaning at the edge of the sink, she fisted her hand and let it hit the cabinet behind Freen's head, and Freen was startled by it, her eyes closed as she cried.

Becky then took a step forward so that she was beside Freen, she turned around and slid down so that she could sit on the cool tiled floor of their kitchen, her back leaning against the cabinets below the sink. She brought her knees up close to her body and wept. Loud and unapologetically, acknowledging the pains she has felt since the day it happened.