Everything To Lose ( FreenxBecky)

Chapter 31

"Why didn't you come looking for me?" Becky asked and the question caught Freen off guard. She had thought about it so much over the last few years. So frickin' much. Yet here she was, lost for word, unable to come up with answer that might sound remotely justified.

"I almost did. A week after you left. I told myself that it was ample space and I should come looking. I knew the first place I had to look was P'Mind's house. P'Nam told me it was too soon. That I was being selfish thinking I could just waltz right back to you now and expect you to forgive me. And I realized that I had to fix myself up. I had to clean up my act before begging you for forgiveness, lest you accept it and come home to the same fucked up me..." Freen sighed, and tugged on Becky's shoulder, letting her know she can lean back against her again.

Becky did as she was signaled to.

Freen buried her lips into her hair and spoke, "God! I ruined so much for us. In a months time I got to know about Beckett and I freaked out. I couldn't come to you with that news until I had the paternity tests done. More as proof to you and everyone else, because I could feel in every cell of my body he was ours. But then it was a year and a half, and I thought to myself that you hadn't reached out to me, or to P'Nam. And I thought to myself that maybe that was it for you. Maybe you weren't coming back to me. Maybe this was what it was going to be now. All of those thoughts added to my post-partum depression, but me in a horrible place."

"That's when you started seeing a therapist..."

"Ka." Freen said and continued. "The news that you had reached out to P'Nam came to me just around the time I was finally in a better place in my head, finally off the pills."

Becky exhaled deeply and slowly then. Freen allowed herself to focus on the feeling of her body getting heavy against her front.

"Are you okay?" Freen asked her after a while.

"I am... I'm happy you're here..."

"I'm happy we're here, bebe..." Freen said in response and kissed Becky's temple. "It's more than okay... and I'm so happy Beckett is your son."

"Our son, babe..." Becky corrected.

"Ka, our son..." Freen acknowledged.

Becky then reached for Freen's hand, looking for the infinity tulips tattoo that Freen and her had gotten together as soon as they turned 18. Becky got it behind her neck, and Freen had gotten it on her wrist. She brought Freen's wrist to her lips and kissed over the little tattoo, it sent shivers down Freen's spine.

Becky then got bold, she took Freen's hand and placed it on her breast and guided her to touch her, she herself let her free hand wander back, up into Freen's hair, angling her face so that their lips could meet in a kiss.

The kiss got heated so quickly, Freen finally moved her hands of her own accord, letting Becky's other hand come up to hold on to the rim of the tub. Freen's hand boldly, yet slowly moved lower down her stomach.

"Are you okay?" Freen whispered at Becky's lips, needing to make sure Becky was okay with this.

"Touch me, babe..."

Freen let her fingers find Becky's soft folds. Becky let out a sharp exhale. That feeling. It was so familiar. Freen's touch was engraved in her brain. She knew it by-heart.

"Don't stop okay?" Becky whispered breathily against Freen's lips. Freen nodded and began to tease her folds with her fingers.

Becky felt a shock run through her body. It was familiar and new all at once. Becky could feel Freen's heart racing on her back, she could hear in Freen's breathing how much this meant to her. And it flooded her with joy that they had reached a place where this was okay now. This was going to become their new normal again. It was just like before, just like all those years ago....