Avenged

14] Utter Shock

Taehyung's pov:

Jungkook was getting on my nerves. I brought chocolates just because I wanted not to go with empty hands at his place because at that day I went at his place to drop him I didn't take anything with me. 

So now I thought of carrying something for him but he was too dumb to get it . 

" Thought that it would help me with my anxiety and depression?"

After hearing it I wanted to snap at him but I controlled myself. Just what was he thinking. Did I look someone to him who sympathized others? Especially him? 

But I noticed something. He asked me if I wanted to have something and then asked Tea? Ramen considering that I didn't like coffee and hated spicy food. He was again acting cute. But still! He should have thought before speaking that shit out loud.

" So....Tell me. What is it?" I asked and saw his face turn pale. Like literal pale.

My chest jumped at his reaction and I started to think shit. I was this paranoid person who went into scenarios that might never exist but it was all so smooth into a flow that when I started to think I wasn't able to stop myself from imagining terror.

" I...Taehyung....I want to tell you something." He said lowly with a shaky voice. He was nervous from the starting. I felt it when I saw him open the door and then , when I entered the room and saw the place on which he might be working, it was a havoc there. 

Sheets withered, two mugs of coffee - one empty and one with more than half empty coffee, tablet open, files spread and a little more mess.

 He was worried about something. What could it be? Work? His mother? Marriage?

Stop thinking Taehyung!

" Yes. I am listening. Speak." I said softy , trying to make him feel comfortable and relaxed without any pressure before he started.

At first he hesitated so I waited patiently. I wanted him to tell me everything he found important. I wanted him to open up with me so I could be the person on whom he could rely on. Jungkook was a person who felt insecure about himself to the most and when I got to know just how much he hated his body because of those marks and had not seen himself from a long time made me think more.

And then I had talked with Jin hyung while trying my best to bring out information about Jungkook as much as I could.

I wanted to know about him from anyone and anywhere because what I had seen and known , told me that, I should know everything about him. I wanted to know about him not because he was a having a therapy but because I wanted to make him happy and feel safe.

I wanted to give him things that he had never got from his parents or anyone. I wanted to help him and make him love himself because I knew that he deserved the best.

This feeling was weird and new to me but I so much wanted him to smile with his actual smile. I had seen him smile a few times and right now too, he was smiling but I knew that it was fake. 

It was all just the habit he has got of smiling at things when someone did something for him. As if he owed them now. As if someone had done some favor on him.

And I didn't want him to feel like that for me. I didn't want him to feel that whatever I was doing was because I sympathized him or did out of petty.

I wanted him to feel free and speak to me. Now that I know the truth I understood why he acted reckless. he just wanted to show that he was tough and strong and didn't care about anything but in reality he was still that little child who had been traumatized by his father and had seen his mother get beaten in front of him.

So I wanted to protect that child and make him see the actual happiness. Make him understand that he deserved a full course revenge without any guilt and happy life to live.

Jungkook sat quiet while looking at his lap and I waited.....before he finally started to speak.

" Taehyung.....I don't know if you will be happy , sad or mad at me after listening this but let me tell you this....This thing.....no one knows about this except me, my mother and Jin hyung. Not even Jimin. " He slowly looked up and my chest squeezed tightly after looking at his face.

His eyes were getting teary and he looked in pain. But maybe staying silent would be the best thing. With this thought I took a silent inhale and exhale to stop the clawing hurt in my chest.

" Taehyung.....if you don't want this thing then we can get rid of this...Forever. And we can live a normal life. I know.....that you are a good person and you want to help me in every way possible so I can do this much for you...I will do as you say because it won't be only my choice but yours too. If you feel shocked or surprised I would understand because it is a really different and shocking thing." He spoke but it was kinda.....alien to me. 

I wanted him to explain more and I thought that he would explain more but then I heard something that took me away from this universe to somewhere else and that was the moment I wasn't ready for.

" Taehyung...I ~...I can.....I can get pregnant." 

*BOOM*

thump thump thump

......what?

huh?

WHAT!!???

" what." I couldn't hear my voice. It was very low but I could hear my heart beat in my ears and eyes inhale breath. I.....I wasn't shocked. I had turned into a fucking dumb human.

I breathed. Tried to calm myself down.

Breathe in....breathe out.....breathe in....breathe out...

not once....not twice....not ten times. 

I tried more than enough times but nothing worked. 

All I knew was that now I was speechless dumb fucking ass who didn't know how to speak , talk or respond.