𝕸𝖞 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 | ᴏꜱᴄᴀʀ ᴅɪᴀᴢ

17. Late night drive

Since we had a free week from school for finals, I decided to study. Even though I was a decent student, and knew I wasn't gonna fail, I still wanted to make sure. I sat at the kitchen table with my books, regretting that I started. The thought of school ending soon made me sad, but at least we had the summer. Monse, Ruby and Jamal are going to college, but me and Cesar are staying here, at least for one more year, at least that was the plan before the whole Santos update.

My studying was interrupted by Cesar and Oscar walking in. "Is Sad Eyes home?" Oscar asked. "Yeah, I think he's in the shower." I replied. They sat down at the table, waiting for my brother. "Why are you studying? You know you're gonna ace the exams." Cesar asked, looking at my books. "I'm just really stressed about everything, and this is the only thing I can control right now." I sighed. "Have you been studying all day?" Cesar asked. I nodded, opening another page of my book. "Okay, I think that's enough." Cesar said, closing the book. "You don't even like studying, stop torturing yourself." He laughed. "Let's go to my house and watch a movie or something." He added, sending an inquiring look to Oscar. Oscar nodded, letting Cesar know they didn't need him. Cesar took my hand and dragged me up, walking me to the door. "Come on, let me change first." I groaned, pulling my hand away, and going to my room.

When we got to Cesar's, we went to his room and I laid down on his bed. "I'm so tired." I whined, yawning. "What do you wanna watch?" Cesar said, opening his laptop. "Let's watch Breaking bad." I said, sitting up. "Again?" Cesar turned to look at me. "You liked it!" I laughed. "Shouldn't we watch something more chill, with your stress and all?" He asked. "No, it makes me feel better about my life." I smiled. "Fine." Cesar said, rolling his eyes.

We were four episodes, a bag of cheetos and a bottle of coca cola in until I noticed the time. "It's 8pm, I gotta bounce." I said, taking one last sip of the coke. "Are you feeling better about your life now?" Cesar asked, pausing the episode. "Yup, thanks." I smiled, putting my shoes on. "Do you need me to walk you home?" He asked. "No, it's okay." I said. "Okay, see you tomorrow?" He asked, implying to my brother having yet another "hangout". "Yep, love you!" I said, leaving his room.

When I opened the front door, I saw Oscar on the porch, smoking a cigarette. I smiled at him, and continued walking. "Hey." He said, making me turn around to face him. "Hi." I said with a confused look on my face. "You still stressed?" He asked. "Not at this very moment, but I'm sure it'll catch up to me." I sighed, sarcastically. "You wanna go for a drive?" He asked, very casually. Him saying that caught me off guard. "Huh?" I asked, receiving a laugh from him. "Come on, it'll help you get your mind off things." He said, throwing his cigarette on the ground. I hesitated, I've never been alone with him, just the two of us, but I got up the courage to nod. We walked to his car, and I got in. He started the car without saying anything, so I just sat there awkwardly. He drove out of Freeridge, still not saying a word. I sat beside him, nervous, smitten and a little excited. I turned my head slowly to look at him, one hand on the steering wheel, windows down, and the most beautiful side profile I've ever seen in my life. I quickly turned my head when I noticed him noticing my staring. His car smelled like cigarettes and cologne, kind of enchanting, making me feel like I was melting. 

He parked in front of a beautiful beach view, surrounded by a bunch of rich people's houses. "What is this place?" I asked. "The first thing I did when I got out was come here. After three years in a six by eight I wanted to see something big and open." He said, looking at the sea. "Wow." I said, feeling surprised he told me that. He got a pack out of his pocket and offered me a cigarette. "You want one?" He asked, handing me the pack. "Sure." I smiled, taking a cigarette. I put it between my lips and watched him take out his lighter. He got closer, and while he lit it, I looked at his insanely beautiful facial features. His eyelashes were something every girl could only dream of. He lifted his eyes, and his chocolate brown eyes met mine. The moment felt oddly intimate. He leaned back on his seat, and lit his cigarette. 

"What are you so stressed about?" He asked. "Finals." I said, not wanting to go on about the gang thing. "And?" He said, seeing right through me. "Cesar, and well, all of you." I said, looking at the beach. "You don't need to be worried, we know what we're doing." He said, turning to look at me. "I know you do, but does Cesar? He's too sensitive for stuff like that." I replied. "Trust me, he's tougher than you think." He said, looking at me, making me nod. "What about you?" I looked in his eyes, seeing his confused look. "What about me?" He asked, looking away and taking a drag. "Are you as tough as you seem?" I asked, not knowing if I was crossing a line. "You don't need to worry 'bout me." He said, taken aback from my question. "It would be nice to know more about you, you know?" I sighed, turning my head away. "Oh yeah?" He asked with a smirk on his face, making me look at him again. "Yeah." I smiled, feeling butterflies from his reply. "What do you wanna know?" He asked. I felt amazed by his sudden open-ness, this being the first time I've ever been alone with him, like this at least. I had a hundred things I've always wanted to know, but for some reason I was drawing a blank. "You can't come up with anything?" He laughed, making me roll my eyes. "You put me on the spot!" I squealed. "You were the one that wanted to know more about me." He said. "Okay, I got one." I said, smiling. "Shoot." He said, keeping eye contact. "What's your biggest dream, like, in life?" I asked, making him silent for a second. "I always wanted to be a chef and own a restaurant, get a wife and maybe a kid." He said. "Still?" I asked. "Nah, that's long gone." He said, clearing his throat. "No it's not." I whispered, smiling. He looked at me for a long time, not saying anything. "I got a life here, it's all good." He said. I noticed the vibe drop, so I wanted to bring up the mood. "Well, you're getting a wife, for sure!" I laughed, hitting his arm. "What do you mean?" He looked at me laughing with an eyebrow raised. "Oh come on, look at you! Getting a girlfriend won't be a problem for you." I smiled, wanting to boost his ego, but feeling a small knot in my stomach. "Oh really?" He asked, seeming like he knew his way of speaking would drive me crazy. "Mhm." I smiled, maintaining our eye contact. The lights from the houses reflected on his eyes, making them look like stars. I wondered if he knew how beautiful he was.

I wish I could stop time, so this moment could last forever. It was very likely that everything would be back to normal tomorrow. "I bet it ain't hard for you to find someone either." He said, breaking the silence and the eye contact. "Well, if you look at my relationship record, the quality hasn't been the best." I laughed, a bit surprised by his comment. "Have you heard anything from him?" He asked. "No, I haven't really thought about him." I said, looking down at my hands. "Good." Oscar said. "Can I ask you something?" I blurted. "Yup." He said. "Why did you take me here? I'd imagine you had better plans." I asked. "I mean, don't get me wrong, this is fun, but I'm a bit surprised." I added. "Why are you surprised?" He asked, looking at me. "I thought you didn't really care. I mean, I know you care, but, do you know what I mean?" I started stuttering, fearing that I sounded rude. "I know." He said. "I just wanted to get your mind off things." He added, sounding sincere. "Well, you succeeded." I smiled. "Good." He replied.

We sat there for a while, talking about fun memories of when we were younger, leaving the deeper conversation behind us.

"I think I should get you home, so your brother doesn't worry." Oscar suddenly said, looking at the time on his phone. "Oh shit, yeah maybe that's a good idea." I said, looking at his phone. When we drove back to Freeridge, I felt a wave of euphoria run through my body. For a second I felt free, careless and happy. I felt the cool, summer wind in my face, and I looked at Oscar. This whole situation felt like a dream, a dream that I wasn't ready to wake up from. All I wanted was to lay my head on his lap, and stay there forever. Only a conversation with him made me feel a thousand times better than Oli ever did. I felt starved already, even though he was right next to me. The intensity of my emotions made me think I was losing my mind. I turned my eyes away from him, and looked out the window. I wish I could just stare at his face, look at every detail, every flaw, every single thing that would make him even more beautiful.

When we turned on our street, I woke up from my thoughts, and realized I sounded like a creep. We stopped in front of our house, which made me feel awful. I didn't want to go, I wanted to stay. Knowing that wasn't an option, I opened the door, and got up. When I closed the door I turned around and I crouched down to the open window. "Thank you, this was fun. Good night." I smiled, receiving a subtle smile back. I turned around and started walking to my house, feeling upset that he didn't reply, but I had to remind myself that this was Oscar, not some prince charming. "I do care. I really do." I heard him say, making me turn around. I saw him looking at me, with a sincere look on his face. I just smiled, feeling a warm, calm feeling. I turned around and heard him drive away.