rants

rant 61

my teacher at school makes everything shitty for me so when I come home I just wanna rest but my mom makes me unpack lunch wash everything organize my room read Quran practice piano and im just so tired ok i can't do it anymore and she got mad at me for wearing converse to school because it's winter and my feet are gonna get cold or something so I'm telling her that my feet don't get cold and also that my boots are chunky and look bad with like all my pants and she yells at me ab how school isn't about fashion and so rhen I tell her I need my converse on gym days and she says what about your indoor shoes and Im telling her im sorry I can't go to my locker during class time it's school rules you know how bad my school is then she tells me "maybe if you studied harder you could be in a special school like your cousin and wouldn't have to be here" like what the fuck do you want from me please leave me alone im drained and im being forced to keep all my problems to myself too bc everyone I my family's an adult now with bigger issues and im just barely a teen therefore I dont matter and like idk if im being selfish if there's something wrong with me maybe something I'm not seeing maybe I'm just overreacting but I'm so overwhelmed with stress and homework and school and drama and grades and piano and goals and reputation and keeping in touch with my unwilling brother and helping my mom with her uni stuff (she went back to college for another degree) and trying to become a more active person I just can't do it anymore I cried for the first time in a while bc her comment abt how I should've gotten into a gifted school is just ruining me like I'm the best in the fucking class and before all this im a kid. thnx for listening ly