Oneshots - Kayce Dutton Book 2

You're too important to me.

Request - Kayce finds out that you had tried to commit suicide when you were 13.

Author's note - this is a very heavy subject. I'm not particularly inclined to do one-shots on such sensitive topics as suicide...so I'm going to do this my way. But I probably won't do any more one-shots on subjects like this one. Just so everyone's aware! But I wanted to at least honor the request since I never have said my feelings before! 

And if you need to hear it today - you matter. 

It was quiet in the truck as Kayce drove back to the ranch. You sat in the passenger seat, hands in your lap as your eyes watched the landscape pass by you along the highway. You had thought it would have just been a simple lunch. Your parents, brother and his wife, and your grandparents had invited you and Kayce to lunch. 

You didn't have the best relationship with your family. But they had never met Kayce and the two of you had been together for almost two years now. So you swallowed your pride and warned Kayce about it. He took it in stride, smiled, and shook hands when you both walked in. He tried to be kind to your mother while respecting your father. Your brother didn't even look at him and you weren't entirely sure your sister-in-law even knew your middle name. 

It was awkward but decent...that was until your grandmother asked where you lived now. You told her with Kayce on his family's ranch. Your father made some remark under his breath. Kayce, not knowing your father, asked him what he said. That's all it took for your father to snap. He complained that you were throwing your life away, falling for some cowboy who couldn't provide for you. When you tried to stick up, your mother snapped at you for always disrespecting them...clearly for attention. But it was your brother's comment of "just like when she was thirteen" that made you stand up and walk out of the room. 

Kayce followed you and without another word, the two of you left. You still hadn't said one word to him and it had been almost twenty minutes. You looked over at Kayce who seemed a little rigid but had a calm expression on his face. He felt you staring and glanced over. 

"I'm sorry," You whispered. 

Kayce looked back at you confused. He slowed down the truck and eventually pulled over, off the highway. Kayce parked his truck and turned to face you more. You felt your heart beating out of your chest right now. 

"Baby..." Kayce's eyes softened slightly as he looked at you. "What the fuck was that?" 

You let out a breathy laugh, your fingers tightening against your dress. Slowly, you shook your head and looked back over at him. You were in love with Kayce, more so than anyone else you've met before. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with Kayce and grow old with him. You guessed that meant he deserved to know about a part of your life that wasn't the prettiest but was still a part of you. 

"Kayce..." You cleared your throat. "I've never had a good relationship with my family." 

"You've told me that before," Kayce nodded. 

"Right," You sighed. "I just...I'm not like them. They aren't evil...they just don't understand me." 

Kayce's eyes narrowed at you. 

"They aren't," You heard yourself defend them again. 

"What is it, Y/N?" Kayce asked. "What happened?" 

You uncurled your fingers and took a shaky breath. 

"When I was thirteen..." You licked your lips for some moisture. "It got bad. Really bad." 

You tried to think of the best way to continue. Kayce reached over and took one of your hands in his. You looked down at him holding your hand and felt your eyes water. You looked back up at him. 

"I was miserable...more than miserable," You shook your head. "I was in pain. A deep pain that I couldn't figure out how to not be in...and so I finally got it in my head that maybe if I wasn't...here, if I wasn't...that I'd be happier or at the very least I wouldn't be in pain." 

"Y/N..." Kayce breathed out, his thumb rubbing smooth circles on your hand. 

"My dad stopped me or...found me," You sniffed. "But ever since then, I've been a...failure in his mind. One of his failures." 

It was quiet for a few minutes. You blinked back some tears threatening to fall and waited for Kayce to say something. He was still holding your hand so you had a sliver of hope. Kayce shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. 

"You ain't a failure, Y/N," Kayce told you. "Please tell me you know that now?" 

"I know that now," You nodded. "I'm not like that anymore...I'm older and learned how to handle my thoughts. I grew up and lived...but even though it doesn't impact me now like it did then doesn't mean it isn't part of who I am. Especially when it comes to my family." 

"Your family can go fuck themselves," Kayce said. 

"Kayce," You smirked at him. 

"I mean it," Kayce nodded. "Is there some reason you're still trying to be around them?" 

"I don't know..." You shrugged. "I think if there was that's all out the window now." 

"You don't need them," Kayce shook his head. "You don't need anyone who thinks of you like that." 

"Okay," You said softly. 

Kayce pulled your hand in his up to his lips. You smiled at him. 

"Thank you," You told him. 

"I love you," Kayce placed your hand back in your lap. 

"I love you too," You smiled. 

"Okay," Kayce shifted back and put his truck in drive. "I'm stopping at McDonalds on the way." 

"You're hungry?" You asked him. 

"I am," Kayce pulled back onto the highway. "Your mother's cooking is shit." 

You laughed out loud. 

"It really is," You nodded. "Always has been." 

Kayce pulled into the drive-through after a few minutes. 

"You want a shake?" Kayce asked you, rolling his window down. 

"Yes, please," You nodded. 

Kayce ordered and drove around, collecting the food from the window after he paid. He handed you your shake as he ate some of his fries on the way back to the ranch. The two of you didn't speak much as Kayce pulled up to the foreman's cabin a little while later. He turned the truck off but didn't move. You looked over at him and found Kayce looking at you. 

"What?" You asked him, pulling the straw from your lips. 

"You're sure you never have thoughts like that now?" He asked you in a serious tone. 

You were confused for a brief second but then relaxed what he was asking. You licked your lips, bringing the cup down into one of the cup holders. 

"No, Kayce," You shook your head. "I don't have thoughts like that...I haven't since I was young."

"Promise?" Kayce tilted his head. "If you ever do, tell me...let me help talk you through them or work with you, however, you need me to be. Whatever you need me to do, I can do it you just need to tell me. Because I won't let you think that way, you're too important to me and so many others." 

You smiled at how serious he was taking all of this. You reached over and held the side of his face, his beard tickling your palm. 

"I promise I will," You nodded. "But I don't have those thoughts and I wouldn't have those thoughts as long as I had you." 

"Me?" Kayce asked. 

"This right here?" You widened your eyes. "You loving me like this? How could I ever?" 

"I do love you," Kayce smiled. 

"I know," You leaned across the console, your lips brushing his. "I love you too." 

One-shot Update - still working with Wattpad to get my first one-shot book back up!