The Silence

22

I hear a knock on my door.

"Honey, are you okay? You haven't left your room for three days." My mom's voice pierces through the door.

"I think I'm sick. No big deal, I don't want to infect you." I say.

"Can I come in?"

I roll my eyes. I don't want her here.

"I'd rather not."

"Oh... Okay, sweetie. I'm going to work soon, if anything happens, call me. And please eat something. Have you eaten anything during these three days?" She asks concerned.

I forgot. I don't have the strength to eat.

"Yes I did. Don't worry." I lie.

"Okay, see you later. I love you." She says and I hear her footsteps retreating.

After I came home from... Work, I don't feel like getting out of bed. That first night I couldn't sleep and thought about Thomas. I didn't do anything to him, but...

I threatened him, quite badly, and now I feel very guilty.

And the worst thing is that I liked it. I liked how Davies was afraid of me.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I know this is wrong. Fucking bad.

I take my phone that is lying on the bedside table. It has 10% because I haven't used it or charged it since I got home.

A few text messages from today from the boys asking why I'm not at school.

"Sorry I'm not at school guys, but I feel like if I get out of bed I'm going to fucking kill someone." I say to myself as I put the phone back in its original place.

Is it normal that after what happened I want to kill someone? I don't know why but I find it kind of exciting.

But this is wrong. I can't. Everything about it is wrong.

I hear my stomach growl. No wonder, after all, I haven't eaten for 3 days.

I get out of bed and black spots appear in front of my eyes. I grab onto the shelf next to me so I don't fall.

I stay like this and when the urge to faint disappears, I slowly go downstairs and go straight to the kitchen to grab some vegetable salad with chicken and pasta from the fridge.

"So instead of going to school, you prefer to wear only boxers around the house and eat salad?"

I jump slightly in fear and turn to see who said it.

"How did you get here? And what are you doing here anyway?" I ask confused.

"I know where you keep your spare keys and you weren't at school so it's my duty as your boyfriend to check on you, whether you want it or not. Plus I didn't feel like sitting in class so I figured it was a good excuse." Louis smiles and looks at me up and down. "And I guess it's good that I came here." He smirks.

I roll my eyes and continue to eat my food.

"Don't be scared. In fact, you could get used to me dropping by like this unannounced more often."

"I'm not scared."

"You literally peed yourself."

I stop my hand with the fork halfway to my mouth and open my eyes wide. I quickly bend over to see if I really peed myself. I didn't.

I hear Louis laugh. "I made you look."

I straighten up and put the rest of the salad on the counter because I'm not hungry anymore. "Very funny." I'm being sarcastic.